By wallaceb Mr. Dr P: Now boys Jim: You said we should practice. Tim: You also said we can’t touch the ball with our hands Mr. Dr P: Save it for the field boys Waiter: First time coaching? Mr. Dr P: Is it that obvious? Waiter: Your lack of protective gear gave it away. Jim and Tim: Sorry Mrs. Dr P: Kimmie would you go in and get them please? Kim: Mom, their your kids! Mrs. Dr P: I hate this place; you go…I’ll give you five dollars Kim: But the place reeks of burnt pizza. Not the puppy dog pout, that’s mine! Ok, but keep the engine running for a quick get way? Ron: Kim! KP! Kim: Ron? What are you doing here? Ron: I come for the games, but I stay for the burnt pizza smell. Oh! Rufus: I win! Ron: Rematch! Kim: Have you seen my dad and the tweebs? Mr. Dr P: Give me that ball right now! I’m not just saying this as your father, but as your coach! Whoa! Kim: Dad! Mr. Dr P: Kimmie, the team needs a coach, just until I’m back on my feet. Kim: You cannot be serious; I don’t know the first thing about soccer. Mrs. Dr P: What’s to know? You’re wonderful with children Jim: Denied Kim: Those are not children! I’m not even sure if they are human. Wade, what’s the sitch? Wade: There’s been some trouble at JP Barrymore’s Pizza Party-torium. Kim: Tell me about it? My dad is totally out of action. Wade: No Kim, after you guys left, they were robbed. Guy: Somebody stole JP Barrymore. Ron: At least you still have the back up band. Guy: The bear was totally carrying those hacks. JP uses the state-of-the-art animatronic musicians. Kim: Who ever those thieves are, they’re not subtle. SSJ: He He He SSS: No! No! A villainous laugh needs to be deep, from the diaphragm. Try again. SSJ: Oh! The laugh is not important. I have the bear. SSS: Yes, but why stop at the bear? SSJ: I have no use for the otter, and the beaver was off key. SSS: Jr., a true arch villain doesn’t leave behind a perfectly good otter. SSJ: I though this was my crime to run? SSS: Yes, of course, provided you make sound decisions. SSJ: Fine, I will get the otter. SSS: And the beaver. SSJ: What ever. Wade: That bear is quite a piece of work Kim, state-of-the-art inside and out. Kim: OK, so we need to think about who might want it? Wade: Industrial rivals? Ron: Other animal bands? Pizzapottomus! No! Kim: Ron! Ron: Not Pizzapotomus! Ahhh! Kim: It’s Senor Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr. SSJ: Looks like we picked up a few passengers, Kim Possible, and her sidekick type friend whose name escapes me. SSS: What is your name again young man? Ron: It’s Ron! Ron Stoppable! SSS: That’s right. SSJ: I will smash them into a building. SSS: Jr. No! Kim and Ron: Ahhh! Ron: I don’t like this at all. SSS: You simply cannot smash your foe, SSJ: Why not? SSS: You must give your foe a chance. SSJ: To do what?! SSS: To shimmy up the cable and try something heroic. Ron: Quick, shimmy up the cable Kim: You’re closer, you shimmy. Ron: Have you ever seen me shimmy? It’s not pretty. Kim and Ron: Ahhhh! Ron: Whoa! Whoa! Ahh! Kim: Hang on! Ron: Ahhhh! Oof! Come on, we don’t have much time! Kim: Ron! They’re in a helicopter! We’ll never catch them. Ron: Who’s talking about them? Bueno Nacho closes in 10 minutes. I’m starvin’ Rufus: Yea, Hungry. Ron: KP, this can’t go on. Kim: What? Ron: Studying, in study hall, it sets a bad precedent. Kim: Don’t worry, it’s not school work. Ron: Working on the Sr. and Jr. case? Kim: Wrong again. Ron: Ah, soccer. Or as the English call it, Football. Kim: So you know a lot about soccer? Ron: Oh yea, I will teach you all I know. Let’s see, Soccer is the world’s most popular sport, you can’t touch the ball with your hands. Kim: Unless you’re the goalie. Ron: Really? Well that’s it; the student has surpassed the teacher. Nap time. Kim: Keep em coming Ron! Are you the goalie? Tim: No, Kalian’s the goalie. Kim: Then no hands. Tim: Cool! Let me try Kim: Wait, you’re approach us all wrong. Like this. Girl: Take it Tim! Tim: I got it Kalian. Kim: OK, here’s a Give-n`-Go. See you pass it right back to the person who passed it to you. Tim: I could have done that myself. Kim: there’s no “I” in team. Tim: And there’s no “fun” in soccer. Jim: No with her hogging the ball. Kim: No, no, no, let me show you. Do it like this. SSS: Jr., I do not approve of the sign. Your lair should be secret. SSJ: But I want people to find me. SSS: so it is a trap? Ah, cleaver boy. SSJ: Father! It is my evil scheme. SSS: yes, yes of course, I just want to see if it is evil enough. SSJ: Please! I assure you, it will be the greatest achievement of my life. SSS: Greatest evil achievement? SSJ: Oh yes, yes indeed. He he he he. Kim: Keep it moving; use both sides of your feet. Here, I’ll show you. Ron: Is she scaring you to? Rufus: Oh yea, hm hm. Ron: I’m so glad I’m just the equp… Kim: Equipment manager! Ron: Oof! Kim: Blow these up, hurry. Tim: I wasn’t ready. Do Over. Kim: there are no do over’s in a real game. Come on, hustle! Heads up! Survey the field! Keep the ball moving! What’s the sitch Wade? Wade: how’s the coach thing goin’? Kim: Getting there. Visualize goals! Wade: Visualize Senor Señor Senior, Sr. Kim: What did you say? Wade: Triple S has struck again. Kim: Listen up team, I’ve gotta jet Team: Horary!! Kim: It’s that kinda attitude that says extra header practice. Now remember, hustle! I’ll be back as soon as I can. Team: Ohhhh! Kim: That’s not hustle.
Tech: Our Company has invented a revolutionary new gas that burns 100 tomes brighter than neon. Ron: Doesn’t look so bright to me. Ahhhhhh! Tech: Yea, it’s quite bright isn’t it, not as bright as the stolen proto-types, but very bright all the same. Kim: now what makes you think Señor Senior stole it?
Tech: The left this. SSJ: Good day, unless you’re watching this after dark, in which case, Good evening. Kim: So Jr.! SSJ: You are no doubt wondering why we have taken your super neon… SSS: What are you doing? SSJ: A video calling card. It will be my villainous trade mark. Ow! SSS: Have you studies villainy at all Jr.? SSJ: Father! Tech: What do you make of it? Kim: Family issues. Ron: My eyes!! Mr. Dr P: How’s it going Kimmie? Kim: OK, usual villain stuff, Mr. Dr P: I meant the soccer practice. Kim: Uh oh! OK team that should be about enough. Same time tomorrow. Jim: My legs Hurt. Tim: I can’t even feel my legs Kim: So, how are my star players? You two better get a good night sleep. Tomorrow, we go full contact. Jim: Isn’t soccer pretty much no contact? Kim: That’s what the other teams think. Ron: You get one Chimereato, and they give you like a dozen little packets of Diablo Sauce. You can’t possibly use all this sauce. Some where there’s a land fill loaded with unopened hot sauce, and some day, I’m gonna find it. Kim: You know if I put on the uniform, I can pass as a tall 10 year old. What do you think? Ron: I think it is just a game, and your natural competitive Kimness has taken you to a very dark place. Kim: The team needs and edge. Ron: You’re the coach. Kim: I’m a hands on coach. Ron: Hands on soccer, interesting. Kim: Wade, go you think it is wrong to pitch in to try to help my team? Wade: Like fundraising? Ron: Like playing forward. Wade: Then I’d have to say yes. Kim: So, what’s the sitch? Wade: Watch this; Jr. calls it his video calling card. SSJ: you love the night life? Love to boogie? Then come on over to Club Lair, the globe’s latest and hottest disco. Kim: Hmm, he loves the camera. Ron: And the camera loves him. SSJ: Club Lair is conveniently located in Europe. Drive a little, party a lot. Wade: Well…They shouldn’t be hard to find. Ron: Yea, the map helps. SSS: hmm… SSJ: What? SSS: Nothing, I didn’t say a thing. SSJ: You did, you said “Hmm…” SSS: I did not mean to say “Hmm…” it is your evil disco, not mine. SSJ: Good! Now, ready, steady, go! SSS: Yes, yes, very nice, but where is the villainy? SSJ: Father, please! I want to do this on my own. Kim: Thanks for the ride Mr. Bloomberg. Bloomberg: I owe you one Kim, I never would’ve gotten around the world in 80 days, if you hadn’t saved me from the hurricane. Kim: Any one could’ve steered a hot air balloon through Gail force winds, I’m just glad Ron was around to serve as ballast. Ron: This time, I’m staying inside the basket. Rufus: Oh yea! Kim: I hope this doesn’t take too long, I promised the team I’d do some power drills today. Ron: Power drills? That sounds harsh. Kim: Hey, no pain, no gain. Ron: Kim, the team wanted me to talk to you about your…coaching technique. Kim: What about my coaching technique? Ron: Too much technique, not enough coach. Kim: What’s that supposed to mean? Ron: They just want to have fun Kim. Kim: Winning is fun, Ron! Ron: See, that’s your Kimness talking. Kim: Well, I am Kim? Ron: It’s just a game, with small children, who cry when they see you coming. Kim: Fine, we will let the team decide when we get back. Bloomberg: Goin’ down. SSS: So you taught the animals to “Cha-Cha-Cha.” No, tell me your villainous scheme! SSJ: My plan is this, as the animals dance to the bouncy beat; the crowd will be inspired to do the same. SSS: And then? SSJ: We will party all night long! SSS: Everyone will dance? That is your evil plan?! SSJ: And…I will over charge for beverages. Kim: Sorry to break up the party, Señor Seniors. Ron: What have they done to Pizzapotomus? And where’s JP Barrymore’s banjo? SSJ: I am so sorry, but tonight is my grand opening, it would be most inconvenient to give up now. Did you see the thing with the eye brow? Nice touch no? Ron: Um, KP, other than wrapping Pizzapotomus in polyester, this doesn’t seem very evil. SSS: See? What did I tell you? SSJ: I’m sorry my friends, but this night club is rather exclusive, and you’re not on the guest list. SSS: Ah, the cleaver threat! Good Jr.! Now you must follow through with a display of violent anger. SSJ: But I’m mildly put off at best. SSS: Just throw something! SSJ: But father, I just had my nails buffed for the gala opening. SSS: Jr.! This is not a party. This is not a disco. This is not fooling around. SSJ: Sunglasses indoors, how stylish. SSS: no loner will you interfere Kim Possible, now you are under my control. Jr. Now is the time. SSJ: What? SSS: The villainous laugh Jr. SSJ: Nut now I don’t feel like laughing. SSS: Laugh! SSJ: (strange laugh) SSS: Ha, I’ve heard worse. SSJ: What have you don’t father? SSS: The intense light of the super neon is refracted into a hypnotic pattern by the modified disco ball. SSJ: you modified my disco ball?! But now they’re standing still. Everyone must dance! Ron: Gotta Dance. Kim: Can’t stop dancing. Rufus: Must boogie, oh yea! SSS: Did I not mention the hypnotic victim responds to the first suggestion given? SSJ: They dance well for hypnotized people. SSS: Jr.! Now is not the time! Europe’s elite will be here in a few hours. SSJ: Yes. To get down with our bad selves. SSS: NO! To be hypnotized pawns in our plan to take over everything. SSJ: But that is not my plan. SSS: It is now. Ready? SSJ: What ever, this is no longer my party. SSS: Jr. you can party all you want when we control everything. SSJ: I don’t want to control, I just want to… SSS: No! Do not speak the “D” word. Ambassador, so pleased you could make it. Kim and Ron: woo woo. SSJ: The crowd is starting to perk up. SSS: Not for long. Radio Guy: Hello, Europe. SSS: This is Senor Señor Senior, I am in command of a disco filled with fabulous VIP’s. Radio Guy: Can you speak up sir, the music is awfully loud. SSS: In exchange for these very important persons, I demand that you name me, king. King of everything! Radio Guy: I’m goin’ to have to have someone get back to you on this. Wade: Kim? Kim?! Kim: Can’t talk, dancing. Wade: Oh my gosh! A hypnotic disco ball?! Rufus: Help! Wade: Help is one the way Rufus. Oh man! Now! Kim: You rock Wade! SSJ: let’s get this blackmail over with so the party can start. SSS: patience my son. We are on the verge of being royalty. SSJ: Fine, what ever. Then we can all… SSS: Don’t say it! Kim: Sorry Seniors, cancel the coordination. SSS: Ah, Kim Possible, you are so resourceful, unlike some people I could mention. SSJ: Always the put downs, where is the praise? Where father? SSS: Now is not the time Jr. Ron: Senor Señor sounds like a certain soccer coach I know. Kim: Oh, does he have too much Kimness too? Ron: Not exactly, he’s just a control freak, your…well, yea you are…that’s weird. SSS: You know Kim Possible, the disco ball id not the only thing I modified. Kim and Ron: Ahh! Ron: JP Barrymore’s gone rouge. First they take his banjo, now this? SSS: Attack my robotic animal pawns. Ron: Not Pizaapotomus! Kim: Ron! We can’t let those innocent people get hurt. Ron: Not to mention us innocent people. Kim: Wade, can you hack into the system controlling the animals? Wade: Kim, it’s the most sophisticated computer system I’ve ever seen. Kim: It’s a banjo playing bear. Ron: They took his banjo! Wade: I can’t hack the bear, let e try the beaver. SSJ: Father has made my party a major drag. Everybody dance! SSS: Jr.! What have you done? Wade: I’m in! Kim, I took out the otter and the beaver. Kim: Saweet Wade! Ron: Kim! Ahh! Help! Bear! Bear! Bear! Oof! Ahh! Kim: I’ll be right down. Ron: No Coach Possible, this is my ball. Goal! SSS: this is the last time I let you run the show SSJ: if you had let me run it, none of this would’ve happened. Kim: Nice hustle. Ron: I hate it when they get away. Kim: Grrr! Lets go. I’ve gotta do some hands off coaching. Girl: Good shot! Next time try for the other team’s goal. Jim and Tim: You got it! Mr. Dr P: the important thing is that they’re having fun. I’m glad you see that now. Kim: What ever. Mr. Dr P: Kimmie, you better perk up, you’re the coach. Ron: Not any more Dr. P. while learning to let go, the team let her go. Mr. Dr P: Who’s coaching then? Kim: The guy with the Banjo. JP Barrymore: Way to go team; kick that ball, way to go team.
