By wallaceb Group 1: Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Ron: They're getting closer, KP! Kim: This way! Rufus: Oh! Yoo-hoo! Look out! Kim: Ron, over here! I think we lost 'em. Ron: Tainted slobber! Group 2: Steel! Steel! Steel! Ron: Come on! Ron: We'll never make it! Group 2: Steel! Steel! Steel! Kim: There's gotta be another way in! Group 1: Pain! Pain! Pain! Kim: Going up. Ron: Come on, Kim. We've got to get inside. Oh! Ahhhhh! Group: Whoa! Kim: Ow! Next time we come to the mall let's stick to the main entrance. you know, I usually like to go home and change after a mission. Ron: No time for that, KP! Kim: OK, Why? Ron: The first 100 fans not be trampled get a free GWA-tour T-shirt! Kim: GWA? Ron: How can you not know the Global Wrestling Association? It's only the most excellent sporting organization in the world! Steel Toe rules! Yeah! Fans: Pain! Pain! Pain! Kim: All this just because some wrestlers are making a mall appearance? Ron: Not just some. Pain King and Steel Toe! Pain King's got a bionic eye. Don't even think about looking into it. Or you'll writhe on the floor in total pain. Kim: And I suppose Steel Toe actually has steel toes. Ron: No, that's just a publicity gimmick. They're more like titanium, actually! A freak industrial accident. Rufus: Yeah! Kim: Right. Jackie: Listen up, Middleton! Are you ready for action? All: Yeah! Jackie: Are you ready for head-bumping, chest-thumping, back-breaking, ground-shaking confrontation? Ron: Yeah, baby! Kim: Is that the main guy? Ron: Hah, no! That's Jackie Oaks. Founder of the GWA. Jackie: Now here's a little secret. These two world-class athletes that I'm about to bring out...hate each other's guts! Here's... Pain King! All: Pain! Pain! Pain! Jackie: And Steel Toe! All: Steel! Steel! Steel! Ron: Drop 'em, Steel! Kim: OK, I'm in the mole and I'm not shopping. What's wrong with this picture? Ron: Wait, wait, wait! Wrestling is more than two guys beating on each other! It's also a war of words. Pain King: You are going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Pain King: No, you're going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Kim: Yeah, they're poets. Look, Club Banana's doing a tie-in with the museum's Cleopatra's Closet exhibit. That's where I'll be. Hello, civilization! Monique: Oh, my gosh! How much do you love Cleo's cargos?! Kim: Way much! Both: Do you have them in Caesar green? Jinx! Kim: You owe me a soda! Pain King: It makes me sick to look at you lead foot! Steel Toe: You will be so much sicker when I stomp you with cold, hard, steel! Pain King: Let's go, right here, right now! Jackie: Now, now, boys! Save it for Mayhem in Middleton! Good seats still available, folks! Eh? Eh? Pain King: You're going down! Jackie: Hey! Hey! Oh! Break it up there. Break it up there! Oh! Ow! Audience: Come on! Let's go! Hey! Watch it! Oomph! Monique: Do you belong to our Club Banana Club? Kim: Charter member! Monique: Kim Possible?! I thought it was you, the stuff you do is so amazing! Kim: Ahh, it's no big. But thanks. Monique: I'm Monique. Just moved here. Kim: Cool. Where'd you go to school? Monique: Middleton High. Kim: Me, too! Monique: I start Monday! Kim: You totally have to let me show you around! Monique: Deal! Ron: Oooooh! Kim! Kim: See you at school! Excuse me! Pardon me! Jackie: Honey, that was some performance. Have you ever think about career in professional wrestling? Kim: So not! Jackie: I'll tell ya what, here's two tickets to Mayhem in Middleton. Enjoy yourself on Jackie. Ron: These are backstage passes. You get to go backstage! You got a backstage passes where the backstage is! Kim: And hang out with some guy named Steel Cage?! Ron: Ah, KP, Steel Toe is a guy. Steel cage is, well, a cage. Kim: You take 'em. Ron: You can't just give them away! You know what these are worth? ...OK, you can give em? to me. Ron: Hey, let's go back to your house and watch wrestling so we get psyched to watch wrestling! Kim: Not tonight. I'm going to the Cleopatra's Closet exhibit at the Middleton Art Museum. It's a special preview for Club Banana frequent buyers. Ron: You'd rather see some dead queen's clothes than watch Steel Toe's Night of 100 Bruises with me? Kim: My answer would have to be... hello? Yeah. See ya! Ron: Cleopatra! Like anybody's gonna remember her ten years from now! Hah! Monique: Hey, Kim! Kim: Monique! I should've known you'd be here! Monique: Exclusive preview! The queen's accessories! Girl, It is all good! I love your pants! Kim: And you, very Cleo! Guide: Good evening. If you'll follow me, It's my pleasure to welcome you to this special Club Banana preview of Cleopatra's Closet. Guard: Mmm! Guide: Oh, my goodness! Kim: Call security and stay together. Wade, trouble at the Middleton museum. Can you tap the security-cam? Wade: Tapping. Kim: Hmmm. You are so busted! Ron: Whoo-hoo! Toes of steel! Tim: Oh! Pain King's down! Jim: Duh! Pain King never beats Steel Toe! Kim: Ron, you won't believe what happened tonight! Boys: Shhh! Kim: What's the sitch, Wade? Boys: Shhh! Kim: Sorry, Wade. Go ahead. Wade: The only thing stolen was a small talisman. It was a gift to Cleopatra from the high priest of Anubis, the jackal-headed Egyptian deity of mummification. Kim: A mummy?! Gross! I bet she would've rather had nice earrings. Wade: Don't be so sure! This talisman was supposedly enchanted. Kim: Oh, come on! Who would believe that? Wade: Maybe that glowing guy on the roof. Kim: Good point! What's it supposed to do? Wade: Super-human strength! Kim: Oh, great. Well, at least it's not immortality, I guess! Thanks Wade. TV: ...in Chicago. We'll be right back. Ron: So? How are the queen's old clothes? Kim: I barely got to see them! Right after I met Monique the museum was robbed by some glowing headed animal guy. Ron: That's nice! Wait a minute, who's Monique? Kim: New friend. Really great! Anyway, the thief stole an enchanted ancient talisman. Ron: Whoa, whoa! Back up! How can I not know about a new friend? Kim: I met her at Club Banana. Then again at the museum, before I chased the glowing robber. Ron: So what's she like? Kim: The robber? Ron: The friend, Kim! The new friend! Kim: Ron, focus! There's a glowing guy running around Middleton with some kind of super-natural powers. Ron: OK, OK. Why don't we hit Bueno Nacho and you can fill me in. Kim: No, thanks. Monique and I stopped for Smoothies on the way home. Ron: Smoothies? Since when does Kim drink Smoothies?! Rufus: Mmm, Smoothies! Ron: Seeing a pattern here, Rufus. Kim does her thing, I do my thing, and pretty soon? we're doing different things. Rufus: Uh-oh! Ron: Maybe I'm just blowing this whole Monique thing out of proportion. I bet tomorrow everying's back to normal! Rufus: Hmm-mmm! Ron: Good morning, Mrs. Dr. Possible. Is Kim ready for school? Rufus: Hi! Mrs. Dr P: You missed her, Ron. I think she said something about meeting Monique. Ron: Monique? Mrs. Dr P: Oh! And I'm gonna be late for my cranial bypass. Say hi to your folks! Rufus: Ohhhh! Kim: Once I was saving this desert prince from some stupid death squad. And the back of my skirt was totally caught my underwear the whole time! Monique: No way! Kim: I could've died! He almost did. Ron: Hello, ladies! Kim: Ron! What are you doing here? Ron: Can I dine with my best friend and her new friend? Kim: Ron, Monique and vice versa. Ron: Bear claw? Monique: No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian! Ron: I'm pretty sure it's imitation bear. Kim: She's joking, Ron! Ron: Good one! Good one! So, did Kim tell you that
I'm her sidekick cos that role's definitely taken by me. Monique: Right, well, you know, Well, I'd better get to class. Later, Kim. Um, nice meeting you, Ron. Ron: Likewise, I'm sure. Kim: What is your problem? You're acting really weird! Ron: Well, let's see. You went to the museum with Monique, not me. Monique was with you this morning, not me. Hmm, pattern?! Kim: Yeah. You... weird! Ron: No, we're drifting apart because you're excluding me! Kim: I am not excluding you! It's just you and Monique are...different! Ron: Oh, now you're gonna tell me that sometimes growing up means growing apart? I've heard it before, Kim! Billy Bullwicky, second grade! Kim: You are so blowing this out of proportion! Ron: OK, maybe I am. Oh, don't forget Mayhem in Middleton tonight! Kim: Those tickets are for you. I've kind of already made plans with, er, Monique. Ron: I blame the smoothies! Here, Jackie gave these to you. Kim: And I gave them to you. Ron: And I'm giving them back to you! Except this one. But only because it'll be the highlight of my life! Kim: Ron! Pain King: So, you're taking a vacation this year? Steel Toe: Yeah, we went ahead and rented a cottage on Martha's Vineyard. You know, It'll be nice to get a chance to relax with the wife and Kids. Pain King: It sounds charming! I hate your guts! Steel Toe: I'm taking you down, slime! Pain King: Oh, hi, Jackie! Steel Toe: Phew! Man, I thought you were a reporter or something! Jackie: No, no! Listen, what do you guys think about me getting into the ring with you tonight, Eh? Pain King: Come on, Jackie! Be reasonable! Steel Toe: Yeah, I don't mean to sell ya short. ...Oh! Jackie: Oh, very funny. Very funny. Steel Toe: Sorry, man! I didn't mean it like that. Pain King: Stick to promoting, Jackie! That's what you're good at! Jackie: This is all gonna change... tonight! Guys: Yeah! Ron: Hey, nice seats! Guy: Definitely! Ron: But not as nice as mine! Backstage, baby! Gotta see my man, Steel Toe! Reporter: no really Golf is a contact sport. If you think about it,... could be something really fabulous. Ron: It's Steel Toe and Pain King so close I could touch 'em but I won't. Cos I'm cool! Ron: Yo, Steel Toe! 'Sup, Pain? Ron: I touched Steel Toe! Rufus: Whoo-hoo! Me, too! Steel Toe: Your gerbil's totally bold, man! Ron: Yes, thank you! Could I have an autograph? Could you make it to um, Ron? Pain King: Er, sure. Let me get a pen. Yo, Jackie! Steel Toe: Where is that guy? I need my sunglasses, pronto. Ron: I'll get 'em! Can I, please, please, please? Steel Toe: Sure, kid. They're in my dressing room. Jackie: Let me see if I've got everything. alright, open-toe sandals. Check. Oh, talisman. Ohh, glowing! That is nice, huh? Hmmm. Alright, and my ancient papyrus which I shall now begin to read from. "Anibus, protector of the tomb, your time is now. The time of doom!" Rufus: Ah! Ron: You know what? I'll just come back later Ahhhhh! Oomph! Rufus: Yikes! Ron: You wanna be left alone! I'm down with that! Jackal: Tonight the world will see the fearsome power of The Jackal! Ron: I've seen! I believe! Ahhhhhh! Ron and Steel Toe: Ooomph!. Pain King: What are you doing?! Ron: Oh, there's a problem. Him! Monique: Not enough froth in your latte? Kim: No, I'm just feeling guilty. I kind of blew off Ron to be here tonight. Monique: Why didn't you bring him along? Kim: Unless someone put a waiter in a headlock, this is definitely not Ron scene. Besides he had a date with Steel Toe. Monique: He scored tickets to Mayhem in Middleton?! The GWA rocks! Kim: What? Monique: Pretty tacky, I know. But my brother hooked me. Pain King's my boy! Kim: I can't believe you and Ron have something in common! What up, Wade? Wade: More on the talisman. If the holder recites incantation from an ancient text, the spirit of Anubis could actually possess him! Kim: Sounds bad. So we better find the ancient text. Wade: Too late. Somebody already found it. Some masked guy stole it from the University of Chicago. Kim: Do you have access to the police report? Hmmm. The thief was super short and the GWA was in Chicago before Middleton. I'm sorry, Monique, I keep running out on you. Pain King: Who is this guy? Steel Toe: Man, beats me! Ron: It's Jackie! He's got super-natural powers! Pain King: Jackie Oaks?! Jackal: You all said I was too small to get in the ring. Well, here I am! Do you still think I'm too small?! Guy: This Jackal's awesome! Ron: You made your point, Jackie! Put them down! Jackal: I am no longer Jackie. I am now The Jackal! Guy: Whoo-hoo! Kim: Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me! Um, I'm just gonna squeeze through here to get... Out of my way! Ron: First I lose my best friend, now professional wrestling! Everything's ruined! Kim: You didn't lose your best friend. Ron: KP? Kim: And don't worry! We're gonna save this... this... Would you call it a sport? Ron: The most excellent one ever! Kim: Let's take 'em down! Ron: I'd tag team with you any day, KP! Kim: This will be easy! Pain King and Steel Toe: Ooomp! Guy: Sweet! Jackal: I will take on all competition in a no-hold barred grudge match! Right here! Right now! Come on! Crowd: Boooo! Guy: Awesome rocket effects, bro! Kim: Prepare to be body-slammered, Jackal! Ron: That's body-slammed! Better let me do it. Ahhh! Kim: Ron! Ron: You go. Kim: Why don't you try it without the talisman? Jackal: Why don't you try and make me! I am all-powerful! Kim: Ouch! No duh! Ron: Kim! Kim: You distract him. I'll go for the talisman. Ron: Distortion. Solid. Ron: Steel Toe's number one! Jackal who? Jackal who? Steel Toe's number one! That's right, you heard me, old demon! Kim: Oh, boy! Ahhh! Ron: Oomph! Jackal: From now on the world will bow down to me! Kim: As long as he has that talisman on, this guy can't be stopped. Ron, you keep The Jackal busy. Ron: I did that already. I have the rope burns to show for it. Kim: Doesn't have to be for long. Get them to help. Ron: We gotta keep The Jackal busy! Pain King: No way, man! This guy's scary! Steel Toe: There's no way! I don't wanna a piece of this guy. His eyes are glowing! Ron: Gentlemen, you're not just entertainers, you're not just gifted athletes. You're heroes! Both:[b] Let's get it on!
[b]Steel Toe: Let's see what you've got! Ron: Ahhh! Hi! One chance, buddy! Kim: Got ya, Rufus! Jackal: Hey! Kim: Oh! Jackal: Nooo! Um, guys, be reasonable! Pain King: Jackie, you're going down! Jackie: Ahhhhhh. Guy#1: Dude, that's the best, awesome, most totally ripping show I've ever seen! Guy#2: No way, man! That whole Jackal thing was totally fake! Monique: You know, I still can't believe you met Pain King and Steel Toe! Ron: I can't believe you're into wrestling! Kim: I can't believe I know either one of you! Monique: Enough talk! In the immortal words of Pain King, "You're going down!" Ron: Oh, con truer, It is you who will be going down. Monique: First one to drip is a loser! Ron: Better get your bib, baby! Monique: So long! Rufus: Go! Kim: I think this is the beginning of a very weird friendship.
