By wallaceb Ron: Kim, this isn't just a big deal, it's a big hairy deal! Kim: It's driver's Ed, Ron, no big. Ron: This isn't any old class, KP; this is a right of passage! Today we get behind the wheel of Detroit steel! Kim: I repeat, no big. Ron: Oh, really, Kim? Need I remind you Russell Nelemeyer? He flunked Driver's Ed and he lives in parents' basement and he takes the bus to his job as a taxidermist! Kim: Russell has a lot of issues. Ron: Yes, and they all started in driver's Ed. Barkin: People, today is the most important day of your young lives. Today you pass through the doorway to adulthood. Today... you drive. But first a film. Lights. Narrator: This used to be Judy's car and what a swell car it was. Down right nifty for going to sock hops and soda parlors. Kim: What's the sock hop? Kim: What's the soda parlor? Narrator: But that was all before Judy's keen little coupe became...The Ghost Car! Barkin: You could imagine what that carnage would look like in color. Don't look away, people! Bonnie: He said that? Well, he just moved from hottie to naughty. Barkin: OK, who's ready to roll?! Rufus: Ugh! Freeman: True, the micro circuitry problem has yet to be solved, and of course, there is the positronic interface to think about, but the basic theoretical work is sound, right?
Or am I completely cracked? Well?! Toaster: I'm thinking! I'm thinking! ...Done thinking. It'll work! Freeman: Wonderful! Let's celebrate. Blender, whip up a banana smoothie. Blender: You got it, Doctor Freeman. Freeman: Stereo, party mix, if you please. Stereo: Ah, yeah! Crankin' it up, baby. Microwave: I've got a pita pocket and I'm ready to warm. Freeman: Microwave, you know me all too well. Drakken: Cancel that order. Good morning, Doctor Freeman! Aagh. You're coming with me! Freeman: What?! I...!
Microwave: Someone's tryin' to take Doctor Freeman! Attack!
Drakken: Aagh! Make it stop! Make it...stop. What happened? Shego: You know, for someone who's supposedly a mad genius, I'm not seeing much of the genius. Drakken: Keep it up, Shego, and you'll see plenty of the mad. Shego: Ooh, scary man. Freeman: Um, pardon me, but what is it you two want? Drakken: You're going to help me, Doctor Freeman, with a little problem I'm having. And pay for my dry-cleaning as well.
Ron: Er, the school's insurance 'll cover the damage, right?
Barkin: Looks like you and old Russ Needlemeyer are gonna spend a quality time together at the bus stop. Rockwaller, break the string of spirit-crushing failures. Bonnie: He's a froon, but a beautiful froon. Barkin: Rockwaller! Bonnie: I gotta do this thing. Flip side. Let's drive. Barkin: You are ready for the pro-circuit, Rockwaller. Ron: Wow! Bonnie passed? Bonnie: Don't choke. Kim: Only when I see you. Barkin: This should be a cinch for you, Possible. Kim: Right. No big, Mr. B. Barkin: What are you think you doin'? Kim: Starting the car? Barkin: Without your seat belt? Kim: Oh, yeah, right. Barkin: Now what are you doin'?! Kim: Er, driving. Barkin: Not without checkin' your mirror you're not, missy! Kim: Mirror. Gotcha. Ron: Right of passage! Barkin: ...to adulthood!
[n]Narrator:[/n] ...Ghost Car! Bonnie: Don't choke! Barkin: Put it in gear. Put it in gear, Possible! Kim: Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. Barkin: Watch your speed! Cut the wheel. This isn't jolly old England, Possible! Kim: Huh? Barkin: Right side! Kim: Oh. Barkin: Squirrel! Kim: Squirrel? Is that like a K-turn? Barkin: It's like a squirrel! Kim: So... do I pass? Freeman: Hm, some sort of manufacturing facility. Drakken: Very observant, Doctor Freeman. This factory once manufactured family station wagons, but I've twisted it... Freeman: My parents had a station wagon. To sock hops and soda parlors in it... Drakken: Oh, neato. Where was I?! Shego: Twisted it. Drakken: I've twisted it to a grander purpose, a far more insidious threat, a much deadlier... Shego: He's building an army of robots. Drakken: Why do you do that? The evil rant is one of the best perks of the job! Shego: Yea, well it’s boring! Just so you know. Drakken: Bring in the Destructo bots! Freeman: You've already built your robot army so why do you need me? Drakken: It's really just a formality. Dot the “I” and... Shego: I'll show you. Cus it's pretty... Destructo bots, attack! Destructo bots, switch off! Drakken: Alright, fine, my Destructo bots are stupid! Your creations, on the other hand, are smart. Freeman: Smart and funny. My toaster's, by the way, always good for when you... Drakken: I just want the smart. Freeman: Forget it! I'll never help you! Drakken: I was hoping you'd say that. You've given me the chance to test... the Brain-Sifter! Rufus: Yeah, hey! Ron: So, as you can see from this very conclusive demonstration, it's not so much that I lost control of the car, as it is they built the gym too close to the parking lot. Kim: I never choke. Ever. Check the motto. I can do anything. Ron: Right, you can do anything, including fail. See the logic? Bonnie: If you'd been in a remote-control car today Kim. You might have passed, as long as Crash Stoppable wasn't at the controls. Ron: Just because you're the only one who passed, doesn't mean...! Rufus: Weeee! Ron: Hold that thought. Rufus! Rufus, come back! Oh, he's gone! He's gone forever!
My sweet naked mole rat! Why?! Why?! Ron: Good to have you back, little buddy. Rufus: again! Again! Kim: I am so over cars. There's nothing wrong with walking. Ron: Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking this whole driving thing is way overrated. Did Thomas Jefferson drive a car? Did George Washington? The Wright brothers flew airplane but did they drive? Actually I don't know but the point is... Kim: We're being followed. Ron: Really? Are you sure? Kim: Only one way to find out. This way! Ron: Aagh! Ugh! I'd just like to point out that that was "two" fences in a row
and I didn't rip my pants! Kim: Let no one doubt your fence-jumping skills, Ron. Now move. What happened to you? Ron: Nothing! Kim: I think we lost the car. Sadi: Kim Possible? Kim: Yes. Sadi: I've come for you. Ron: Ghost car! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Gah! Gah! Gah! Gah! Sadi: Does he do this often? Kim: Almost daily. Ron, Chill. I highly doubt this SUV is possessed by spirits. Sadi: I'm a Systemized Automotive Driving Intelligence, but my passengers call me Sadi. Ron: No ghosts? Sadi: No ghosts. I am equipped with ejector seats, disintegrator ray, and I come in variety of colors. Kim: Cool! Sadi: What about the monogram too much? Kim: I like. Ron: Wow! That drinks holder could hold king-sized slurpster! Rufus: King-sized? Yum! Kim: I'm impressed, but what do you want from me? Sadi: Some freaks snatch my inventor, Doctor Freeman. I found your website. Kim: I've never had a hit from a car before. Sadi: Can you really do anything? Ron: Oh, yeah, you know except a K-turn. Kim: Any clue who did it? Sadi: Clueless, but the blender might know something. Ron: Did you say Blender? Blender: I-I-It was all so chaotic. Ron: That's a talkin' blender, alright. Rufus: Oh, Creepy! Kim: Just tell us whatever you can about the people who took Doctor Freeman. Blender: One of them was roguish and the other was petulant I guess I would say. Kim: Roguish and petulant? Erm, OK, can you be a little more descriptive? Ron: Height, weight, anything that might be a tinsey bit useful?! Blender: Look, I wasn't built with eyes. Sadi: Try the toaster! Toaster: Truth, people. I was concentrating on making the toast that was perfect golden brown. Ron: Good man. Microwave: Wait, I just remembered! Kim: Spill. Microwave: Their body temperature was at 98.6 degrees. Ron: Oh, Great! That narrows the list of suspects down to... lets see everybody in whole wide world. Blender: This no need to get testy. Ron: Sorry, but generally KP and I get more to go on. A picture, maybe, or some fingerprints. Kim: Or even a voice. Stereo: Did you say a voice? I recorded the whole thing, baby. Ron: You wait until Blender and I about to mix it up to mention this?! Stereo: "Good morning, Doctor Freeman. You're coming me..." Kim and Ron: Drakken! Drakken: My compliments, Dr. Freeman. You've survived the Brain- Sifter and the Mind Drill, and the Cranial Drain! I didn't want to do this, Doctor. But you've forced my hand! Help me, please! Come on! Do me a solid. Freeman: Your entreaties are falling on deaf ears. Shego: Yep just like I thought. This guy won't help us because he can't help us. Drakken: Shego, what do you say? The man's a genius! Freeman: The world leading expert on computerized automation. Shego: If you really knew his stuff, he fix your robots and be on his marry way. Right, Dr. Drakken? Drakken: Huh? Oh, I see. Yes, you're right. This Freeman clearly is a poser. Freeman: What? Shego: Yea we should grabbed another scientist. Drakken: Yes, perhaps somebody from community college. Freeman: Those hacks? I can program circles around those buffoons! Shego: You talk the talk. Prove it. Freeman: Can't even program a VCR at that place. Drakken: Bet you can't fix my death ray, either! Shego: Hey, don't push it. Can you not? Kim: Pop quiz, Wade. Drakken plus an expert on computerized intelligence equals... Wade: Evil robot army? Kim: Has to be. Wade: I'll cross-reference abandoned factories with shipments of robotic parts and micro processor orders. Kim: You techno-rock, Wade. Wade: I try. But this is a needle-haystack scenario, Kim. It might take time. Kim: I'll check in after school. Later, Dad. Mr. Dr P: Need a ride to school Kimmie? Kim: Already got one. Mr. Dr P: With a boy? Kim: No, a self-driving computerized vehicle. Mr. Dr P: Okey-dokey. As long as it's not a boy. Ron: The moment of truth is here. Yes, it fits! The king-sized slurpster fits! Sadi: Alright, alright. Put a lid on it. You look like a spiller. Rufus: Brain freeze! Ron: What's wrong, KP? There's a driver's-side drink-holder too. Kim: I'm good on the beverage front. It's Driver's Ed that’s got me torqued. Ron: Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Sadi: Excuse me? Driver's education? Ron: Mr. Barkin's test course is deadly. Kim: Heinous and deadly. Sadi: Hello? What am I missing here?! Self-driving car. I was made for this. Ron: Right! We take Barkin's test in Sadi and we ace it perfect, KP! Kim: No, Ron, I'm not gonna cheat. Ron: Is using a calculator in algebra cheating? Kim: I don't use a calculator. Ron: OK. Well, is cutting pasting stuff from the internet and calling it a paper cheating? Kim: You are kidding, right? Ron: What? Kim: I can pass this test on my own. I know I can. Ron: You know what they say, Mr. B. Any crash you can walk away from. Barkin: Stoppable, I've got two words for you. Public transportation. Barkin: Right of passage. Ron: Doorway to adulthood. Sadi: I was made for this. Barkin: Get in the car. In the car, Possible! Kim: Oh. Right. Sorry. Bonnie: Not even buckled in and She's already choking. Sadi: I can't just idle and watch this. Kim: What are you doing? Barkin: State-mandated paperwork. Are we doing this test or not, Possible? Kim: Yes, sir. Sadi: Don't worry, sweetie. I've got you covered. Barkin: How's that?! Kim: I, um... I've got it covered, um, sweetie. Barkin: I... am impervious to sweet-talk, Possible. Start the car! Barkin: Well done. Now let's see a k-turn. Sadi: K-turn? Honey, I'll give you the whole alphabet. Barkin: Pardon me? Kim: Um, you might wanna hang on. Barkin: You even dotted the "I". Magnificent. A plus, plus! Kim: Hmm. Ron: You aced it! I knew you could. Say, um you'll give me rides? Cos the Russell Needlemeyer thing freaks me out. Kim: Can we not talk cars, please? Bonnie: Hey, Kimmie, I can still drive circles around you. Kim: Any time, any place, Bonnie! As long as it’s before dark and I have a licensed driver in the car. Bonnie: Whatever. Ron: You know, you seem a little agitated for a girl who just aced her driver's test. Kim: I cheated. Well, Sadi cheated for me, but the guilt is still major. Ron: You cheated? Kim: She just did it! Ron: I'm sorry. Let me rephrase. You cheated? And you didn't let me cheat, too? Kim: I didn't cheat, Ron! I mean, is it cheating if I cheated but I didn't mean to cheat? Ron: What? Kim: What's the sitch, Wade? Wade: Drakken's lair. Found it. Kim: Drakken, release Dr. Freeman. Are they partying? Freeman: I told you I could do it. Drakken: I know I told you you could. I never doubted you. Freeman: Sadi, you came! It was quite exciting! Dr. Drakken had a programming glitch in his Destructo bots that he was sure I couldn't fix. Well, I showed him. Kim: Hi. Kim Possible. Came to save you. Did you just say fixed Drakken's Destructo bots? Freeman: Yes! They work perfectly now... which might not be a good thing. Rufus: Uh-oh. Drakken: Destructo bot vaporize them all but start with Kim Possible! Ron: Ooh, that's gonna scratch the paint. Freeman: No, scratch-proof paint. Ron: Nice! Duck! Brain freeze! Never underestimate the power of the slurpster! Rufus: King size! Drakken: Shego, Kim Possible and that sporty utility vehicle are destroying my robots! Shego: And that's why you have me around. Real nice. Kim: Sadi! Rufus: Uh-oh! Rufus: Ar! Ron: Agh! I don't wanna melt! Shego: Come on! We're gone! Drakken: Agh! Argh! Drakken: Farewell, Kim Possible! We won't meet again! Kim: Anybody see a way out of here? Ron: No, and it's not for a lack of trying. Sadi: I can get us out. Kim: Sadi, you're still alive! Sadi: Yeah, but my automated guidance systems are fried. Someone's gonna have to drive me out of here. Ron: No problem. Doc Freeman can take the wheel. Freeman: Oh, Sorry. I can't drive. Kim: You can't drive? Freeman: Why else build a self-driving car? Kim: Great. Ron: Alright, alright, when the chips are down Ron Stoppable takes charge. Now which one of these pedal thingy’s do I step on to make it go-go? Rufus: I don't know. Freeman: Miss Possible, you'll have to take the wheel. Kim: Me? No way! Sadi: Confession time, Kim. I lied. I didn't cheat for you during Barkin’s test. Kim: You didn't? Sadi: I was going to but I realized you were doing just fine by yourself. So I just sat back and enjoyed the ride. Kim: Really? So I can drive? Sadi: A plus, plus, baby. Kim: Seat belts, check. Mirrors, check. Ron: Hot metal, check! Could you just floor it, please?! Kim: Going. Rufus: Yikes! Ron: Dead end Freeman: And this passage is too narrow! You'll never pull a U-turn! Kim: Then the K-turn's all I've got. Ron: Boo-Yah! Sadi: Wall! Ron: Argh! Whoa! Way to drive, KP! Freeman: Well done, indeed. Sadi: Want the cherry on top, Kim? Just press the red button. Drakken: Well, my robot army was a failure. But at least Kim Possible won't be around to ruin my future schemes. Shego: See? Always a silver lining. Drakken: Yes, ha, ha. Do you hear something? Kim Possible, you think your car's all that but it's not! Kim: Nailed the bad guys and Mr. Barkin's test. I call that a good week. Sadi: Confession time 2.0, Kim. I really did do all the driving on Barkin's test. Kim: What? Ron: Are you saying you lied about lying? Sadi: Hey, I knew Kim was a good driver, she just needed a little confidence boost so I fibbed. Ron: Well, I hate to approve of dishonesty. You know, except for when no one notices. Kim: But I did really drive just now, right? You swear? Sadi: Cross my carburetor and hope to stall. Kim: So, did I pass? Barkin: Why would the best student driver I've ever seen insist on re-taking her test only to lower her grade? Kim: Just something I had to do. So? Barkin: You passed. B minus. Kim: Woo hoo-hoo! Barkin: I'll never understand teenagers.
