By wallaceb Guard#1: The Kimber Diamond... Guard#2: It's gone! Ron: How much does a piece of ice like that go for? Curator: The Kimber Diamond is the most flawless gem in the world! Its value is beyond any estimation. Ron: I'm gonna throw out a number... 250 bucks! Curator: Sir, I really don't think... Ron: 275? Am I getting warmer? Kim: Cool! Curator: What is it? Wade: Hair. Canine hair. But not just any dog. This follicle comes from a Lithuanian wolfhound, one of the rarest breeds on earth. Ron: And what would these dogs want with a diamond? Kim: Why don't we focus on the person who owns the dog, Ron? Ron: That's just what the dog burglar wants you to do! Wade: Got it! Falsetto Jones. The only breeder of Lithuanian wolfhounds in the world. He's rich, refined and possibly the world's greatest thief. Falsetto is the number one suspect in a lot of big time robberies but they can never pin anything on it. Kim: So, he no ordinary cat burglar. Ron: Dog burglar! Come on, Kim; get your head in the game. Wade: Bad news, his estate is crawling with security. No weak spots. Good news, tomorrow night Falsetto hosts his annual open dog show. Ron: So, all we need to get inside... Kim: Is a show dog. Francois: Yes! My Gigi has a tres sensitive tummy, mais non? Now, you must remember to feed her only two-part champion gourmet wet food, one-part champion gourmet dry food avec a sprinkle of truffle, yes? Kim: Two parts wet, one part dry, sprinkle of truffles. Got it. Kim: Two parts wet, one part dry. Two parts wet, one part dry. A sprinkle of... Ron! No! No, Gigi, bad! Ron: Relax, KP. There's plenty of mucho cayentcheeseese. Kim: Ron, what were you thinking? Feeding Bueno Nacho to a champion show dog! Ron: Ah! Rufus downs this stuff all the time, he's cool. Rufus: Eugh! Kim: Newsflash, Ron! Rufus is a rat, not a champion show dog. Rufus: Puh! Kim: Look, Gigi is in no condition to enter a dog show and we land in 15. Any ideas? Rufus: Huh? Ron: Alright, we're gonna pull this off, you're gonna have to look dog, act dog and think dog. Got it? Rufus: Woof! Ron: OK. Now, do as I do. OK... sit. Rufus: Thanks. Ron: Ruff. Rufus: Woof! Ron: Ru-uu-ff! Rufus: Ruff. Ron: Ruff-ruff-ruff! Er... Judge: I'm sorry, what breed did you say this was? Kim: Erm, a Peruvian... Ron: Hairless! Rufus: Huh?! Judge: I'm still not seeing anything in official... Ron: Maybe you should consult with my friend Mr. Lincoln; see if he can improve your eyesight a bit, if you, you know, catch my drift. Kim: Ron, this is a prestigious international competition. Ron: And I'm speaking the prestigious language of cold, hard cash. Kim: Five dollars is hardly... Judge: Ah! Yes! Here it is. A Hairless Peruvian. Very good. Kim: There he is. Falsetto Jones. Ron: Why do you think he's called Falsetto? Falsetto: Welcome, humans and canines alike, to my annual dog show! Kim: Freak helium accident! Ron: Ouch! Kim: I need time to infiltrate the main house. Try to keep a low profile. Ron: You got it. Low pro. Rufus: Check! Ron: Good dog! Kim: I'm liking the stealth suit, Wade. Wade: Knew you would, Kim. Kim: And the pond is filled with... Don't tell me, sharks, crocs? Wade: Electric eels, actually. Kim: The bad villain puns just write themselves. Shocking, isn't it?! Speaker #1:: And now the toy group is been led on to the floor by their handlers. Speaker #2:: Eugh! What is that entering that looks like a bald rodent? Speaker #1:: I'm told that's a Peruvian Hairless. Very rare. It's quite exciting to have one in the show. Speaker #2:: Well, let's see how the judges like him. Rufus: Hey! Ron: Ha...! You gotta admire that kind of spirit in such a small dog. Of course, there's a time for spirit and a time for laying low! Kim: I'm in. Speaker #1:: Let's see who it will be. This judge is taking his time, clearly a tough decision. Speaker #1:: And it's the Peruvian Hairless taking the toy group. Ron: Hey! Speaker #2:: And in his first show ever, huh? It's quite an upset. And he'll move on to the finals. Ron: Who's the dog?! Rufus: Who-hoo! Kim: If I were a flawless diamond, where would I hide?! Wade: Blueprint shows some kind of vault deep under the house. Kim: On my way. I... Falsetto: Ooh, that?s quite an animal you have there, Mr... Ron: The name's Van Foker Dumple ...stein. Doctor Van Foker Dumple ...stein, actually. Falsetto: In all my years of hosting this show I've never seen anything quite like him. Ron: Well as I'm sure you know, the groovy Hairless... Falsetto: Peruvian Hairless. Ron: Yes, he's practically one of a kind. Falsetto: I feel compelled to ask you a question, Doctor Foker Dumple ...stein. Ron: Fire away. Falsetto: Can I have an autograph? Ron: Hey, sure, anything for a fan. Falsetto: Not you?re autograph. His. Rufus: Ha! Mine! Kim: And Bingo was his name-o! Hello, beautiful! Ron: Sorry, KP. The low-profile thing didn't exactly work out. Falsetto: He's a naked mole rat, purchased at the Middleton Smarty Mart by Mr. Ron Stoppable, sidekick to teen hero Kim Possible. I ran a check on his autograph. Feed that useless rat to my beloved wolfhounds. I have a special treat planned for you two. I think you'll find this quite shocking. Kim: Called that one. Bodyguard: He's getting away! Speaker #1:: The finalists are on the floor, except for the Peruvian Hairless. Speaker #2:: Wait! There he is now! Rufus: Come and get it! Speaker #1:: And it appears we have pandemonium on the floor. Kim: Um, aren't you going to leave now? Falsetto: Leave? What do you mean? Ron: Usually the bad guy says his lame pun and walks out. You know, leaving us to our doom. Falsetto: But then I'd miss the whole thing. Where's the fun in that? I'm not going anywhere. Kim: OK. But I feel I must warn you that you really breaking a super villain tradition here. Rufus: Whoa! Kim and Ron: Ahhhhhhhh! Falsetto: Hey! Ooh! Hoo! Stop! That really ...really tickles! Get them! Rufus: Hi. Falsetto: Show's over, Kim Possible. Kim: It's so not. Jump! Ron: OK, you can hit the button for the parachute anytime now! Kim: Sorry, no parachute. Ron: No parachute?! Kim: Hit it, Sam. Ron: The Peruvian Hairless saves the day. Kim: Rufus is definitely best in show.
