By wallaceb Jim: Steel Toe is taking you down. Tim: Uh-oh, Pain King is going to cannonball! Steel Toe Propeller! Tweebs: Ooh. Ron: It's coming! There's no way to stop it! Jim: Alien attack? Ron: Worse. Tim: Mondo-morphing melt monsters? Ron: Worse. But that does sound pretty cool. Jim: Ron, do you know... Tim: GWA is on? Ron: Not for long. They're coming! Tweebs: What's coming? Ron: Crazed boy band fans! Tweebs and Rufus:Ahhh! Jim: The remote! Ron: He who controls the remote controls the future. Tweebs: We're going in. Kim: No way, Tweebs! TV: The hottest band on the planet: Robby, Ryan, Dexter and Nicky Nick... the Oh Boyz! Girls: Oh, my God! Ron: Correction; She who controls the remote controls the future. SSS: I think you will be most pleased, my son. This will be your best birthday present ever. SSJ: Oh, father, I'm so... confused. What is all this? SSS: Go on. Try one. SSJ: If you insist. SSS: Ah, the devastation ray. Wonderful choice. SSJ: That's cute, father, but I think I'm too big to play with toys now, don't you? SSS: These are not mere playthings, Junior. SSJ: Father, is that my Honolulu Kyle? SSS: Observe. The sub-harmonic cannon. SSJ: Kyle! SSS: I thought you just said you were too old for toys. SSJ: Kyle isn't a toy! He's an action figure! SSS: What action? SSJ: He dances the bumpa hula. SSS: Junior, these models are so you can decide which doomsday device you want for your birthday. SSJ: But father, I don't want a doomsday anything for my birthday. I only want for my dream to come true. SSS: Your dream?um? to take over the world in some terribly evil way? SSJ: No, father. That is your dream. My dream is to become an international pop sensation. SSS: Very well. As a powerful billionaire, this should be easy to accomplish. But why do something the easy way when you can do it the evil way? Monique: When are they going to do Hello, Hello, Hello? The waiting is killing me. Tara: Oh, I think Robby is the cutest creature on Earth. Kim: I love Dex. You know, for his brains. Monique: Uh-huh, that's not his brains he's shaking there, girl. Mrs. Dr P: I heard screaming. What's going on? Ooh! A concert! Now this brings back fun memories. Back in my day, it was... Kim: Mom. Please. Mrs. Dr P: Well, it doesn't matter who it was. It was just like this. Kim: There was never anyone like the Oh Boyz! Mrs. Dr P: Okay, note to self. The Oh Boyz are hot. Tara: For now and forever. Mrs. Dr P: You'll never guess what I got today. Kim: Tell me. Mrs. Dr P: Guess. Kim: No. Tell me. Mrs. Dr P: No, you have to guess. Kim: Hmm. Mrs. Dr P: Tickets to the Oh Boyz show! Kim: Um, uh, Mom... Mrs. Dr P: What? What's wrong? Kim: Well, never mind. Mrs. Dr P: What, tell me? Kim: Uh, guess. Mrs. Dr P: Kimberly Ann... Kim: Okay. The Oh Boyz are over. Stick a fork in them. Done. Mrs. Dr P: Really? But I thought they were the hottest band in the land. Kim: Last week. Nobody would be caught listening to them anymore. Ron: The Oh Boyz rock my world! Oh Boyz ticks! KP! This is awesome! Kim: Do we have the right night? Ron: You know, I expected more people. Kim: I expected some people. Roland: Benny, we have more caterers than fans. Benny: Roland, do you know how much money the record company is losing on this tour? Roland: No, but as the accountant, I'm sure you'll tell me. Benny: My advice is to cancel and cut your losses. Roland: The boys have lawyers. No cancellation clause. Benny: Ooh, right the contract. Roland: Look at this. Artists shall have four mugs of hot cocoa flown fresh from Belgium exactly one hour before every performance. I hate my life. Oh Boyz: Roland! Is that cocoa here yet? Ron: I am furiously psyched. Kim: It doesn't bother you that you're into a band that is so over? Ron: They're not over for me. They rock. Kim: I used to think so too, but I mean, come on, Ron. Look around. Nobody is into them anymore. Ron: Kim, who cares about everybody else? Ron Stoppable does not follow trends, he sets trends. Ooh. Maybe I can get them to autograph Rufus. Be back in a few, KP. Kim: Oh, I'll be right here. Hoping no one sees me. Ron: Just wait, Rufus. I'm going to show the Oh Boyz how I've learned all their dance steps. They probably love it when fans dance for them. Rufus: Yeah! Hey! Ron: Wow, you've be practicing. Dexter: Roland! Rufus: Whoa! Dexter: I refuse to eat that! They forgot the pickles. Roland: Okay, Dexter. I'll deal with it. Ron: Wowie-wow. It's really him. It's Dexter. Rufus: Incoming. Ryan: Roland, this is all your fault, yo! There were pickles all over my plate. Roland: Ryan, maybe you had Dexter's plate. Have you considered that? Ryan: I did not have Dexter's plate. You think I don't know my own plate? Robby: Roland. Do you want us to tell the record company that you're not taking care of us? Look what you've done. Roland: What? What? Robby: This. Look. It says my zodiac sign is Pisces. Roland: Well, you were born on March 16. Robby: Pisces, it's fish. Roland: So? Robby: I hate fish! Roland: I'll see what I can do. Ron: You're Nicky Nick, right? Nicky Nick: Who are you? Ron: Ron. I'm a bon-diggity dancer. Nicky Nick: Fan boy, keep studying. Ron: Wait, you've got to see this. Announcer: Give it up for your Oh Boyz! Robby, Ryan, Dexter, Nicky Nick and... who's that guy? Nicky Nick: I told you to get lost! Kim: Oh! Oh Boyz: Roland! Ron: Man, you guys know how to rock! What do you do for a finale? Hobble: And you are? Roland: Roland Pond, Defteen Records. Hobble: Can you tell me what happened? Roland: It all happened so fast. Kim: I can help, Officer Hobble. The criminals had a state-of-the-art operation. Hobble: Kim Possible. You've got nothing to worry about, sir. Roland: Really? Hobble: With Kim Possible on the case, your Oh Boyz will be back in no time. Kim: That's right. I'd help no matter what, but they got my best friend, too. This is way personal. SSJ: It is hopeless. My dream will never come true. SSS: Junior, your dream will soon be a reality. SSJ: Oh, look! Dexter, the smart one. Ryan, the youngest one. Robby, the cute one. Nicky Nick, the funny one. And... Ron: Uh-oh. SSJ: I don't know this one, and yet he rings a bell in me. Nicky Nick: What? He's not one of... Ron: The new Oh Boy. The other one. SSJ: Yes, I remember him now. SSS: He's obviously carrying the others. Roland: Oh It looks like we have no choice but to cancel tomorrow's opening gig. What's the dollar damage, Benny? Benny: Well, not so damaging. Roland: Really? Benny: Yeah. We were losing money on shows when nobody showed up. Roland: The Oh Boyz showed up. Benny: Exactly. And we had to pay them, their bodyguards, their hair stylists, their aura cleansers. Oh, boy. Roland: Right. So we don't lose any money anymore. This is a good thing. Kim: What's a good thing? Roland: That we have you to help us. Kim: Have there been any demands? Roland: Not since the Oh Boyz were taken. Kim: I meant from whoever captured them. Roland: Er no, nothing yet, but I'll keep you on speed dial. Kim: But I never gave you my digits. Roland: OK. Must've been some other teen who means well. What was the number again? SSS: If the record company wishes to have their precious Oh Boyz back, they will bow to my demand. SSJ: What is your demand, father? SSS: That they make you an international pop sensation. SSJ: Call them now! Please, please, please! please, please! SSS: As you wish, my boy. Ron: We're in trouble. Nobody is going to give Junior a record deal. Nicky Nick: We have nothing to worry about. Roland will give these jokers anything to get us back. Roland: A day without the Oh Boyz is like a day where I don't lose money. No more whining pop rats. Life is sweet. SSS: Please listen closely if you want to see the Oh Boyz again. Roland: Look, sorry, I got to hop off. Call my office, we'll set a thing. Bye now. SSS: Was I not clear in my demands? Kim: What I don't get is why would anybody take them? Everyone knows that they're over except Ron. Wade: That's the weird part, Kim. They were over. Kim: Say what? Wade: The Oh Boyz are all over the news. They haven't gotten this much attention since Nicky Nick broke up with Britina. Let me stream you a video. TV Guy: The Oh Boyz; When the Pop Stopped. The Oh Boyz not so long ago, they were the hottest band in the world, with such number one hits as Hello, Hello, Hello. Oh Boyz:
I'm going through a tunnel
Stuck in a canyon
In an elevator
Do you even listen?
No, no, no, no
No, no, no, no
Oh-oh
Hello, hello, hello
Can you hear me now?
Or am I losing you
Got to reconnect somehow
'Cause I can't hear you
Hello, hello, hello
Hello. TV Guy: And, of course, I Want It My Way. Oh Boyz:
When you go get on the road
The answer is no, no, no
No, no, no, no
And when you say hit the highway
You know that I gotta stay
It's not that I love you, baby
I just want it my way
'Cause I want it my way,
I like it my way
It's my way or the highway
Yes, I want it my way,
I like it my way
It's my way or the highway
If that makes me selfish as you have accused
Let me just say this:
I don't like to lose
'Cause I want it my way,
I like it my way... TV Guy: But lately the hits have turned to misses. Their concerts opened to empty arenas. The fans had moved on. It seems like only yesterday they were yesterday's news. I mean, they were yesterday's news the day before yesterday. No. Wait. Yeah, that's it. When did they mysteriously vanish? TV crew: Yesterday! TV Guy: So they were yesterday's news until yesterday. OK, you know what? Forget it. Since the Oh Boyz concert disappearance, something amazing has happened. Roland: I won't be needing you. Whoever told them they could carry a tune? Oh, yeah. Me... What? TV Guy: The Oh Boyz are hotter than ever now. Their CDs are selling out worldwide. Roland: Selling out? My two favorite words. This is a double deuce. All of the money with none of the Oh Boyz. Roland: Go. SSJ: Mr. Oh Boyz Record Company man? I think you misunderstood my father. If you and your peeps do not cooperate the Oh Boyz will continue to be missing. Roland: Stay missing? Give me a minute to compose my thoughts. Let me get back to you. SSJ: How can he get back to me? I did not give him my number. Robby: We're on our own. Ryan: Yo, we don't even know how to be on our own. Nicky Nick: Who will get us our cocoa? Ron: Don't worry, guys. You've got me on your side. Dexter: We're doomed. Ron: Okay, fine. You've got him. Roland: Life with out the Oh Boyz... is heartbreaking. Kim: You seem real upset. Roland: Miss Possible, the Oh Boyz are like sons to me. But what can I do? Sorry, gotta take this. Yo. Go baby. SSJ: We are not your baby! SSS: Junior, give me the phone. Roland: Must be a wrong number. Kim: Don't think so. And I hate to tell you, but I definitely know those voices. Roland: You do? SSS: A bad idea. SSJ: We'll give you another chance. SSS: Junior, please let me talk. SSJ: Father, I'm speaking. SSS: I have exp... SSJ: It's my turn. SSS: Son... SSJ: Father! Kim: Oh, yeah. I've got everything I need. Roland: You mean? Kim: That's right. I know where to find Ron and the Oh Boyz. Robby: I can't believe our fates are in the hands of a rat and that contraption. Ron: That's a naked mole rat to you, and that contraption is going to get out of here. Robby: Right, so you know what it is? Ron: Of course... No idea. Dexter: Wait! Clever. It fires the disc player's laser in a tightly focused mini beam to deactivate the lock. Ron: Dexter, the smart one. It's not just hype. ...That is what it does, right? Rufus: Duh! Host: We're back with Man Overboard. Well, gentlemen, the views have voted. How do you feel, Brad? Brad: Hope it isn't me, I guess. Host: Oh, too bad. Brad, you've been voted off the boat and you are going overboard! Host: It's up to you, Christy. You want to throw him a lifeline? Kim: This has to be the most heinous show ever. Judd: You should have seen the last one I worked on; Truth or Volcano. Kim: Anyway, thanks for the lift, Judd. Judd: Are you kidding, Kim? It's the least I could do after you rescued me from that rhino stampede. Kim: Oh, that was no big. What was that show called again? Judd: Teasing Wild Animals. Brad: Come on, Christy! Throw it! SSJ: Yes! Every international pop sensation needs a sensational autograph. Hmm. Host: We're back with Man Overboard. SSJ: What? Ah! My favorite reality show. It can't be. Father! Father! Kim Possible is coming to foil my birthday present! SSS: Ah, excellent. I relish the challenge. Kim: So far so good. SSS: Welcome, Kim Possible. It's so nice you could drop by. Kim: Whoa! SSS: Miss Possible, I have gone to a great deal of trouble to mutate an octopus. Kim: You've got the most whacked hobbies. SSS: I have been dreaming of watching you do battle with him. Kim: Well, keep dreaming. SSS: I would appreciate it very much if you would continue your fall now. Kim: Thanks, but no thanks. SSS: Ah, I am loathe to force the issue, but... Kim: Ahhh!
Ron and Rufus: Boo ya! Let's hit it, guys! Nicky Nick: I'm first. I'm the leader. Ryan: I'm older! Robby: I'm cuter! Dexter: I'm smarter! Nicky Nick: I thought of it first. Ron: Hey, this is no way for troubadours of love to behave. Ron: Hmm. Self-activating, motion-sensitive laser cannons. Those bad boys are no joke. Nicky Nick: In that case, you first. Dexter: Me? You're the one that can't sing. Robby: You've always been the weakling. Nicky Nick: Your dancing totally tanks. Kim: Wade, got a serious 911 on my hands. Wade: Talk to me. Kim: The recipe for my current disaster. Start with a nasty deep pit. Add me. Stir in one killer octopus. Wade: Are we talking regular octopus or mutant? Kim: Definitely mutant. SSS: What a beautiful sight. Junior, you do not want to miss this. SSJ: Not now, father. I'm working on my R's. Ron: Hmm. Hmm. Chill, guys. I know how to handle this. Robby: You do? Ron: Yep, We close our eyes and run all together. I figure only half of us will get fried. Ryan: Which half? Nicky Nick: My guess is the left. Ron: Anyone have a better idea? Dexter: As a matter of fact... Nicky Nick: On my count, Quit Playing Games With My Head. Oh Boyz:
Let's not analyze what I said
I don't wanna be a complex boy
I can't tell if you're serious
when you are so delirious
Are you done playing me, baby?
Is that a yes, no or maybe?
Quit playing games with my head
I'm a sport, but I'm not a toy
Let's not analyze what I said... Wade: Kim! Can you hear me? Listen, when octopi are mutated, certain traits get amplified. Including responsive nerve endings. Kim: Wade, short version please. Wade: He's ticklish. Kim: Ticklish? You've got to be kidding. Wade: Under the armpits. Kim: All eight of them? Oh Boyz:
I don't want to be a complex boy
Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. Ryan: Check us out. Ron: You guys are just like regular guy-guys now. Dexter: You're right. We actually just did something for ourselves. Ron: Feels good, doesn't it? Robby: Hmm feels weird. Ryan: But in a good way, I guess. Ron: Now, we thwart the bad guy. Wait until you see how good that feels. Rufus: Charge! Kim: Cootchie-coo. SSS: How can this be? Kim Possible has tickled my mutant octopus into submission. SSJ: It's worse than that, Father. My ticket to stardom is gone! Kim: Hiya! Nicky Nick: Who's that? Ron: Kim Possible. Teen hero. Cheerleader. Robby: Hi. Kim: Wow. You are the cutest one. Ryan: Did Roland send you? Kim: Oh, yeah. He was very worried about you. Dexter: Why'd he hang up on the ransom calls? Kim: Um, about that... SSS: Enough. You are all testing my patience. Now you will test my latest toy. SSJ: I thought you said it wasn't a toy, Father. SSS: It's an expression. SSJ: That is a good look on you. You can be my opening act. SSS: That was just the low setting. Now let's see who's hot on the charts. SSJ: Ahh! Father! SSS: Junior, are you all right? SSJ: Do I look tanner now? Because the pain may be worth it. SSS: Come, Junior. We will fight another day. SSJ: But, Father, how will I become a super pop star now? Bonnie: Are Robby's eyes really the color of the sea? Monique: Is Ryan's favorite food pizza? Tara: Did you get Dexter's E-mail address? Girl: Does Nicky Nick have a new girlfriend yet? Ron: One at a time, ladies. One at a time. All questions will be answered. All mysteries solved. Monique: When, Ron? Ron: As soon as I get a refill. Bonnie: I'll get it. Tara: No, me. Girl: He asked me. Kim: Enjoying yourself? Ron: Like I said, Kim, I don't follow trends, I start them. Besides, who knows how long the Oh Boyz will be hot this time? I'm working it. Kim: Yeah, I see that. I hope they at least did something about that record company weasel. Roland: Whoa! Hey, boys. You're back. You don't know how I missed you. Robby: No, I think we do, Roland. Dexter: That's why... Ryan: ...we've asked the boys upstairs... Nicky Nick: ...to fire you. Roland: You're joking. Who could possibly take my place? SSJ:
Quit playing games with my head
I'm a sport, but I'm not a toy
Let's not analyze what I said
I don't want to be a complex boy
I can't tell if you're serious
When you are so delirious
Are you just playing me, baby
Is that a yes, no or maybe?
Quit playing games with my head
I'm a sport, but I'm not a toy
Let's not analyze what I said
I don't want to be a complex boy,
boy, boy, boy, boy
Boy, boy, boy, boy.
