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Nursery Crimes



By Zylaa
Kim: Hurry Ron, baby and missing are a bad combination.
Ron: Right with ya KP.
Kim: Wade, need a DNA scan of the baby�s hair�then an ultraviolet sweep of the nursery. Ron?
Ron: Look, I spelled Rufus.
Mother: Kim Possible, thank goodness you�re here.
Kim: We came as soon as we heard your baby was� right there in your arms?
Father: It�s not our baby that�s missing.
Mother: No, it�s her� her�
Father: Paccie.
Kim: You called us for a missing pacifier?
Ron: Can�t you just buy a new one?
Kim: What up Wade?
Wade: Something seriously weird.
Kim: Let me guess, a worldwide wave of stolen pacifiers?
Wade: Yea! How did you know?
Kim: Just a hunch.
Mother: Whoever did this�? I said whoever did this left a note.
Ron: O-oh look, ransom is spelled out �little booties�. O-oh, that�s adorable, and a-a-plew, dusty.
Kim: Not dust, baby powder.
Wade: Scan complete Kim, aaand we�re looking at rare baby talc, manufactured in the tiny English village of sheershimsheer. Well, it used to be.
Kim: Not anymore?
Wade: The baby powder factory has been closed for years.
Ron: Uh, sounds dead endish.
Wade: Maybe not, look at this. Sheershimsheer is also the home of a nanny-training academy. Oh wait, also closed.
Ron: That�s double dead endish.
Rufus: Yea.
Kim: It�s the only lead we got, better check it out.
Ron: Ok, the creepy factor�s in serious over freak here.
Rufus: O-o-o-oh.
Kim: It�s just an old house, it�s not haunted.
Ron: A-ha, it�s a zombie!
Old Lady: May I help you?
Kim: (To Ron) Not a Zombie� (To Old Lady) Hi, we�re looking for Nanny Maim.
Old Lady: I am she.
Kim: I�m Kim Possible, and this is Ron Stoppable.
Ron: Hey.
Nanny Maim: Hay is for horses young man, and do stand up straight. Your posture is atrocious.
Ron: Yes Ma�am.
Kim: We were hoping to find out about your nanny academy.
Nanny Maim: Deary, there hasn�t been an academy here for years. No one needs nannies anymore. At least, not nannies who know how to handle unruly children.
Kim: It�s just that we have some questions about the baby powder used to be manufactured here.
Nanny Maim: Ohhh, perhaps I can help you with that.
Kim: Really?
Nanny Maim: Yes. I would suggest you take your questions and� go else�where.
Kim and Ron: Huh?
Kim: Let�s see if the other locals are friendlier.
Ron: uh, I�d settle for not as bone chillingly eerie.
Bartender: Welcome to the Cow and Cone. �Ave a pint. Would it be a �and scoop or soft served?
Ron: Well, uh I�m a scoop guy myself, pistachio please.
Rufus: Me too.
Bartender: And �ow about you miss, would you like?
Kim: Information.
Bartender: Certainly, �appy to �elp.
Kim: It�s about the nanny academy.
Bartender: Well it was an academy right now. Lovely old place it was.
Kim: What happened?
Bartender: *sighs* Times miss, same as the rest of sheershimsheer. First the baby powder plant closed, then people stopped hirin� nannies.
Ron: And that�s when they went into the zombie business, right?
Rufus: O-o-oh.
Bartender: What�s he on about?
Kim: What about the old woman we spoke to there?
Bartender: You spoke to�uh, Nanny Maim? Oh, ah you needn�t worry a tick about her. She�s a lovely woman that one. So to the earth.
Wo[b]Man:[/b] A heart of gold, she has.
Man: They don�t make �em like they her anymore.
Ron: Why would they want to?
Kim: What are they looking for?
Bartender: Not babies miss, never babies. We like babies �round �ere we do, heh heh. That�s right.
Wo[b]Man:[/b] Oh yes, we like babies just fine. But not snoopers like you.
Bartender: Per�aps your order should be for take away.
Kim: Things are way weird here.
Ron: Yeah, pistachio is s�pose to be green.
Kim: We need to take another look at that academy.
Ron: Ok, but walk slow �cause *munches* once you get passed the purple this is good pistachio.
Bartender: Oh�oh, I didn�t tell �em nothing, I swears I didn�t.
Kim: Ron, infiltrating, no crunch zone.
Ron: Right. *Munches* Woah, there�s chocolate at the bottom, heh-eh.
Kim: *sighs* Wade, what have you got?
Wade: Nothing I can put my finger on. Infrared shows something in there is using a lot of power, but I have no idea what.
Bartender: Ahhhhh!!!
Ron: Kim, don�t look. This is possibly the sickest thing I�ve ever seen.
Kim: Sicker then the time you put Diablos sauce on pancakes?
Ron: MUCH!
Kim: Ye-oh, captured by babies. This is a new personal low.
Ron: You gotta admit they were cute�until they kicked our butts.Baby: Tbbbbt.
Nanny Maim: Apparently, during your last visit, I did not make myself clear.
Kim: Oh, it�s very clear. You�re creating an army of super babies, and using them to steal pacifiers.
Ron: Ok, now see I was thinking that but when you said it out loud, I-it sounded silly.
Kim: I know.
Nanny Maim: Your impertinence must be punished�after tea. Excuse me a moment.
Kim: I�ll keep her talking, you see if Rufus can free us.
Ron: Ok right. Rufus? Rufus! You gotta chew through these ropes.
Nanny Maim: So very naughty, trying to muck up Nanny Maim�s plans like this. *sips* Hmmmm, what to do.
Kim: You could tell us what this is all about. That�s sort of traditional in situations like this.
Nanny Maim: Well deary, back in the day I trained the sternness nannies the world has ever seen, but times changed. A stern nanny was no longer the fashion. Fewer and fewer of my graduates were hired. Finally, nanny had to close her lovely academy for good.
Kim: So, this is about revenge?
Nanny Maim: Do not interrupt, that is quite rude. Nanny Maim realized you could make more money making children unhappy, then she could making them happy.
Ron: Hey, what�s more traditional than greed?
Kim: And the um, hench babies?
Nanny Maim: These little dears? They show just what traditional Nanning and firm discipline can accomplish. Also, feeding full-size henchmen gets a bit pricey.
Ron: Cheap, that�s traditional too.
Kim: The good guys getting free while the bad guy explains the plan�also traditional.
Nanny Maim: You Americans have some very strange traditions. Ones for which I don�t much care. Get them!
Ron: Ron Stoppable is more than a match for any baby. I got a little sis myself, so bring it on. Waaaaa, blah no, I meant one at a time, ahhhh.
Kim: How do I fight babies?
Ron: How do you not fight them? Ahh, hey, watch the beaks.
Nanny Maim: That�s it dearies, make nanny proud.
Ron: Ahh! Uh. Man, these are some tough babies.
Rufus: eeahh, oh boy.
Ron: Hey, that tickles, heh heh. Oh-ho, this is embarrassing.
Baby Ron: *giggles* Boo-ya.
Kim: Don�t be a baby Ron.
Nanny Maim: It�s very bad manners to play with your food.
Ron: Wah?
Kim: Huh?
Nanny Maim: These aren�t like the babies you�re use to. They�re as strong as full grown men.
Kim: Well the babies I�m used to� *gasps*. Of course. This isn�t a save the world thing, it�s a babysitting thing. Uh-oh, where did Kimmie go?
Nanny Maim: She�s right there. You�re acting...like children.
Kim: Peek-a-boo!
Nanny Maim: Noooooo. Stop her.
Ron: Oh, glad that�s over.
Kim: Um, it�s not quite over. How many times did you go through that machine?
Ron: Well I lost count, why? Oh, you know I find the giant diaper a delightful change of pace.
Mother: *sighs* We finally got her settled down. She�s asleep now.
Kim: We recovered the pacifier. Ron, where is it?
Ron: Got it right here KP.
Kim: *gasps*
Ron: Heh-eh, I�ll just wipe it off.
Kim: Careful Ron.
Ron: Oops, ok no wait I-I got it, heh-eh. Oh don�t worry, don�t worry, there�s plenty more where that came from. How �bout this one? No, ok this one? I think this one�s from France. No? You like pink? Oh come on, everybody likes pink. How �bout this one?
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