By wallaceb Ron: So uh KP, you know I was wondering, what are you doing Saturday night? Whoa! Kim: I�m guessing, Bueno Nacho, movie, three hours of you trying to win a stuffed frog from the claw machine at the Middleton Mall, drop! Ron: Wait, are you saying that our date night has it a�. Kim: Rut! It could use some shacking up. Run! Ron: Ah! You�re looking at a guy who happens to have two tickets to a formal event at Hotel Capri. Kim: Serious? I�m in. oh good, Wade�s rescue is here. Finally something exciting to do. Announcer: Welcome to the Actuary of the year awards. You know why� Kim: Yep, real exciting. Announcer: Our next presenter is best known� Ron: Dad? Ron�s Dad: Yes? Ron: What is an actuary? Ron�s Dad: Actuaries make mathematical models to ascertain risk. Ron: Uh, come again. Ron�s Dad: Ok, we evaluate the likelihood of catastrophic or other wise undesirable events. Ron: So you guys book odds on people�s crookage? Ron�s Dad: I think he�s got it. Ron: Ok wait, so you�re saying a bull fighter has a lot more chance of major injury than say a pre-school teacher. Ron�s Dad: before or after nap time? Ron: After. Ron�s Dad: 16.3% more. Ron: Cool! Actuaries rule! Huh, I wonder what the odds of survival for a teen crime fighters are. Drakken: I sent you to do one simple thing, one! Steal the atmosfreezer, and why didn�t you? The door was locked, of course the door was locked! Super secret think tanks aren�t known for their open door policies. Henchman: Hey, what�s a 7 letter word for indifferent? Drakken: Who cares? Henchman: Thanks! Drakken: Eh, oh. Look, would it kill you people to show some initiative once and a while? Henchman: what�s in it for us? Drakken: Just a little think called world domination. In my hands the atmosfreezer can usher in a new ice age and bring humanity to its frozen knees. Shego: Yea, that�s your bag. Frankly the boys, not that into it. Drakken: I pay you don�t I? Henchman: Uh, no. Drakken: Shego, do something! I�m loosing my legions of terror! Hank: Oh, poor you. Hank Perkins, Hi, we�ve met. Drakken: Perkins, oh! You�re the temp who filled in here once. Shego you called in a temp? One temp does not legion of terror make! Hank: Oh I�m our of the temp game Dr. Drakken, working here, I stumbled onto a whole untapped market! Shego: Villainy consultant? Hank: Bingo. Innovative ways to create synergy and maximize evil output. Grand management, action plans, incentiveising� Drakken: Stop, stop, stop, stop, I don�t need your fancy ideas college boy. Hank: Look, if it�s about the money� Drakken: It�s not about the money, I just have a tincy problem with the flow of my cash. Hank: A problem is just a misunderstood opportunity. I�ll tell you what, just to get my foot in the door, if you don�t see improved evil in 6 weeks, my services are free. Drakken: Hmm, I do like the sound of free. Shego: Oh, it�s never about the money. Ron: I�m telling you Kim, actuarially speaking you should have been toast in the 10th grade. Kim: Yet, here I am. Ron: Oh, would you mind moving over a lane? We�re 8 percent less likely to get into a bone mangling accident. Kim: And you�re 15 percent more likely to tick off your girlfriend if you�re 100 percent less annoying. Ron: Well, that doesn�t make any sense, where did you get your numbers? Kim: Grrr. Ron: Look KP, I just want to keep you safe, because if you got hurt, it�s too big a loss to compute. Kim: That�s the most weirdly romantic thing you�ve ever said to me. Ron: Halt! Don�t you ladies know that 60% of all slip and fall injuries occur because of wet floors? Whoa! Ow! Oh! Spotters! More spotters! Whoa! Ow! Henchman: Easy there. Henchman: You can do it. Henchman: Way to go bub. Drakken: Is this what I�m not paying for? Kiddy games? Hank: It�s a trust exercise. The first thing I learned in business school, where I graduated with honors� Drakken: Graduated with honors. Hank: Is successful companies run on team work. Which is built on trust. Drakken: Bunch of grad school hooey. Can I have a turn? It�s my lair. Shego: Dr. D! Some body explain this. Hank: The company organizational chart? Shego: I know that! Why am I way down here at assistant manager for minor weaponry and office supplies? Hank: Well, here at Drakken and company, we believe� Shego: Whoa! I�ve been reduced to �and company�? Hank: What can I say; you missed the brain stormer�s breakfast. But you are just in time to work on your team building skills. The goal is to help your team mates through the web without touching the ropes. Shego: So about that �org� chart. Hank: How does chief operating officer for random mayhem sound? Shego: Throw in a company car, I�m good. Ron: Uh-uh-uh. Kim: This is ridiculous. Ron: Hardly, do you know tongue burns lead to whole body infections in 3 our of 1 million cases? There now you can eat that with confidence. Kim: Eh, so not hungry now. I have faced far worse than scaling Nacos and lived to tell. I�m a Possible, as in anything is. We defy the odds. Ron: KP, do not anger the odds. Kim: I like you, don�t I? What are the odds of that? Ron: Slim to none. Kim: See? Ron: Which only proves my point? If you�re with me then what other statistical horrors can befall you? Kim: Hey Wade, what�s the sitch? Wade: Global warming. Ron: Oh don�t get me started! Wade: I mean some body just breached the security system of a lab that�s ding advanced global warming tech. Kim: We�re on it. Ron: Drakken�s goons? Kim: I guess. But these goons actually seem competent. Drakken: Please, refer to them as team members. It builds their self esteem. Henchman: Easy there. Henchman: You can do it! Henchman: Way to go bub. Drakken: Wow Shego, look at them go! Shego: That new bonus driven incentive system really works. Ron: Oh wow, these numbers do not look good! I got your back KP! Kim: Ron! Ron: Don�t you think your odds are a little better when you skate away from big metal objects that are about to crush you? Kim: You were saying? So you see Mr. Stoppable, as actuary of the year, I thought you could reassure Ron that I�m really ok. Ron: Dad, have you been under here recently? Look at this, one more plug and this place can light up like the 4th of July. Rufus: Oh boy. Kim: See? Ron�s Dad: Son, I am thrilled that the actuarial world has captured your imagination. Ron: It�s not my imagination that Kim�s in statistical danger. The numbers don�t lie. Ron�s Dad: Let�s just see about that. Factoring in Kim�s extraordinary abilities, it�s my professional opinion that she is in no more danger saving the world than the average skate boarding student is going to school. Ron: Really? Ron�s Dad: Really. And as for you, wow, it�s a miracle. Ron: What? Oh� I should have been toast in 10th grade. Drakken: The results speak for themselves. Corporate works. Shego: Oh no, causal Friday? Drakken: Who knew Chinos are so comfy? Shego: Oh, oh yea, bleats, the fierce new look in evil. Yea, can we please just fire up the atmosfreezer? Drakken: Shego, did you even read the memo?! The atmosfeezer requires huge amounts of energy to be cranked up to the ridiculously dangerous level needed for my evil scenes. Shego: And the power drain would alert the authorities to our location. Wow, an actual learning curve. Drakken: All I need is a large urban area where it would blend in with all the other squandering of our precious resources. I just haven�t found that place yet. Hank: Good news, I just diversified our companies product base. Drakken: Way to go Hank! What does that mean exactly? Hank: I bought out a cupcakery in down town Upperton. Shego: cupcakery? Hank: There is a gourmet cupcake craze and we are going to be in front of it. Drakken: Cupcakes! I am not about to risk my reputation as a prevailer of human suffering to sell cupcakes! Oh, oh, um, they are yummy. Shego: You know Dr. D, no one would ever suspect an atmosfreezer to be stashed inside a cupcake shop. Drakken: Of course they wouldn�t, it would be insane�. Oh yes, yes I like it. Shego, you just earned an atta-boy. Girl? Hank: It�s all about branding. I added the word gourmet a flashy new logo, and charge three times as much as our nearest competitor. Drakken: Hank�s? Hank: Yes, we focus tested Dr. D�s, but everybody associated it with shampoo for some reason. Drakken: Oh you know what, who cares. Would you look at the dough we are making? Get it? �Dough� he-he. Shego: Actually, cupcakes are made with batter, and don�t start licking the spoon, because there�s some bad news on the new ice age. Henchman: You need three more strategically placed atmosfreezers in order to lower the temperature enough to satisfy your evil needs. Drakken: You work for me? Becker: Becker Sir. Assistant manger for unexpected setbacks. I won the office baseball pool last week. Drakken: Oh yes! Good on you. Becker: Replicating the atmosfreezer will be easy enough, the problem is that we will need 3 more locations and substantial capital to fund the construction. Hank: You should see these cupcake profits. It�s really too bad we only have one store, demand is out stripping supply three to one. Drakken: A problem is just a misunderstood opportunity. Time to franchise! Kim: Still a no show on that atmosfeeezer Wade? Wade: Yea, it�s freaky, you�d think that something with that kind of power drain would be obvious. Kim: Well, keep looking. Wade: You bet. BTW, have you tried Hank�s Gourmet Cupcakes yet? The Moca Mania is the bomb! Kim: Maybe I�ll pick up a dozen and bring them to the Ronness after school. Wade: How is Mr. Sunshine? Ron: KP. Kim: Uh, Ron? Ron: Three little words, electro-magnetic field radiation. Well ok, not exactly little. Found a website about it, these electro-whatever�s are every where! Kim: Is that right? Ron: Not to worry, here. Kim: I�ll take my chances with the electro-thingies. Ron: E-F-R�s, and they can cause all sorts of bad things. Yea, bunions, over bite, memory problems. Guy: Hey, you forgot this. Ron: See? Gha! Kim: Exactly Ron, anything can get you, any time, so if you�re gunna live like this, you might as well never leave home. Hank: The gourmet cupcake concern represents a huge improvement in company performance. Shego: Gotta give you props suit man, almost makes me glad I didn�t vaporize you earlier. Almost. Becker: All the atmosfreezers are activated. Temperatures are dropping in all 4 locations. Drakken: What about Cleveland? Becker: Sir, we don�t have an atmosfreezer in, in Cleveland. Drakken: I�m not talking to you. I�m on a cupcake conference call. Hank: With the supply chain in place through out the mid west, we could open Cleveland by June. Drakken: Hmm, June�s doable. Shego: Please tell me there is someone else on that conference call. I thought the point of this was to bring the world to its frozen knees? Drakken: Well yes, but what is wrong with a little multitasking? Out of the box Shego. Shego: What box? Drakken: The one you are thinking inside. You see cause� you ha� you, ah Shego, it�s corporate jargon never mid. Kim: Huh?! Snow� in spring? Wade? Wade: I know. The weather. Kim: I�m thinking� Wade: The atmosfreezer? Kim: Drakken. Can you beep Ron? Wade: Already on it. But I�m not getting any answer. Kim: Ron? Ron�s voice: In here. Kim: Ron? What is this? Ron: Panic room. Kim: Of course it is. Ron: 5 inch thick walls of solid steel. And the only place I feel safe from the statistical cruelties of this world. Kim: Ron, this is so a Drakken plot. Ron: Weather? Ah, didn�t he already do weather? Kim: Only difference is, for some reason it�s working this time. Ron: Which is impressive, I mean the odds against him are tremendous. Kim: I don�t care about odds, I care about backup! Which I need. Ron: You don�t want me Kim. I�m an accident waiting to happen. Kim: Ron, you�re not gunna� Ron: I�ll be here, with a years worth of nacos, high speed internet, and those cupcakes which are terrific by the way. Kim: But I� Ron: Kim, Rufus, I�m sorry, it�s how is has to be. Drakken: Perkins, what�s the take away? Hank: Global temperatures are plummeting. Drakken: Good, good. Hank: And sales at our new Miami store are beating projections. Drakken: Ooo, it�s a win-win. Shego: Would you two stop that! Drakken and Hank: Ahh! Shego: Am I the only one around here keeping her eye on the prize? Drakken: Shego, the new ice age is still days away. Besides, I�m thinking about spinning off this whole freeze the world division. Shego: What?! Drakken: Eh, no cross promotion value. Can�t very well hand out icebergs to the little kiddies at the take out window now can you? Shego: Grr! Drakken: Oo, Shego, don�t go all green on us. We�re still gunna take over the world, new school. Hank: We�re taking our cupcake concern public with a big Wall Street splash next week. Drakken: Finally, I get to kick it with the big boys. Henchman: Intruders! Wade: You know this whole mission thing looks a lot easier on my monitor back home. Kim: Are you stalling? Wade: No! I just want to check if I brought the motion deactivator. Got it! Drakken is behind Hank�s Gourmet Cupcakes?! Kim: Bummer, they are yummy. Wade: Uh, I got it Kim, I�ll stun him. Kim: Wade no! Wade: Kim! Wade: This sidekick thing is a lot harder than Ron made it look too. Ron: I�m in a safe place now, nothing can hurt me. I�m in a safe place now, nothing can hurt me. Ahh! Rufus?! How� oh wait until I see that sales man at the panic room dealership! Ahh! Kim�s in trouble! I knew this was statistically inevitable bu-bu-but that ca I do? I can�t go back out there! Not with the odds stacked against me. Ow! Wade: Ron� you� Rufus: Hmm? Ron: I can�t go in alone! Do you know the odds of me fighting off Drakken�s henchmen, rescuing Kim, and saving the world from a new ice age? Note, solar power calculators worthless in panic room! Ron�s Dad: Ronald? I should have told you what you learned when you spend your whole life calculating hazards. Ron: What? Ron�s Dad: Some things are worth the risk. Kim: Eh, Wade? Wade: Kim! You�re ok? Uh, relatively speaking. Huh, funny, my mom always said too much chocolate would be bad for me. Drakken: No mere chocolate, chocolate gnash! Kim: chocolate gnash? What�s gnash? Drakken: Equal parts dark chocolate and fresh dairy cream. Simple but delicious on everything, you�ll see. Lower them! Henchman: Sorry there boss, but that isn�t in my skills set. You�re gunna want the assistant manager for climatic action. Drakken: Fine, go get him. Rufus: Whoa! Ron: Sure they�re a well oiled machine, but they don�t have Ron�s secret weapon. Rufus: Huh? Ron: Paranoia and irrational fear! You know 38% of all splinter mishaps are caused by manual lifting. Did you know you have a 17% chance of loosing your good looks practicing martial arts without the correct padding? Yep, one out of every two home made explosive devices backfire. Drakken: Hmm, finally! I hope you�re not expecting a year end bonus. I guess this is our final good bye Kim Possible and your sidekick wannabe. Who knew revenge would be so� sweet. Wade: Isn�t this when you�re supposed to say �you�ll never get away with it�? Kim: Only when I�m absolutely positive he won�t. Drakken: Double dip them! Wade: Well, there are worse ways to go. Kim: Ron! Ron: Can I get a bo-ya?! Kim and Wade: Ahh! Ron: On it! Drakken: Get them! Henchman: No way. Henchman: We�re taking the early retirement package. Drakken: But our incentive program? Henchman: We got a better incentive. Henchman: Yea, to live. Henchman5: Huh, way to go bub. Kim: Ron, I can�t believe� Ron: Yea, I know. Wade: Uh, guys? I�m still here. Ron: Oh� Kim: Right, Ron, the atmosfreezers. Ron: I�m on it. Shego: So, how many sidekicks can one crime fighting cheer leader bring? Ron: Juts evening the odds. Wha! Whaha! Rufus: Oh no. Wade: On the up side, Ron�s surviving way longer than I thought he would. Kim: Isn�t it romantic? Ron: Statistically speaking there�s a 99% chance that what ever you do to me is gunna hurt real bad. Shego: Oh, you can count on it. Kim: Check your figures Shego. Ron, you were awesome. Ron: Yea, I know. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Hank: Time to go live on an updated action plan, Run! Drakken: This is going to negatively impact third quarter performance. Kim: Ron, look out, you can slip. Ron: There�s a good chance of it. And you know what, I don�t care. Give it up for the new Ron Stoppable, risk taker. Kim: But, you�re still gunna ride in the back seat? Ron: Well, I may be a risk taker, but momma didn�t raise no fool, a yup, yup. Shego: It�s bad enough you didn�t take over the world, again, now we�re stuck with the cupcakes. Drakken: That low carb trend was coming, should have been in front of it. Shego: A problem is just a misunderstood opportunity. Drakken: Are you going to help me with these or not? Shego: who?! Ok, that�s taking casual Fridays too far.
