By wallaceb Kim: Ron, hey what is it? Ron: Just� found� out, have� to� take health class. Kim: That�s it? Ron: Health class, it�s sick and wrong! Rufus: Oh yes. Sick and wrong. Kim: Wouldn�t it be healthy and wrong? Ron: You don�t get it KP, I�m gunna be the only senior in a class full of freshman. Kim: Why didn�t you take it freshman year? Ron: I um, had other priorities. Ron: Ow, ow, ow Rufus: Ow, ow, ow. Ron: Yea that was a busy first semester. Rufus: Uh-hu, ow. Barkin: Alright people listen up, Mrs. Cavorlty while enjoying some delicious fruit had neglected to notice where she had dropped a banana peel, so I will be covering this class. Ron: Just gets better. Barkin: Which brings us to lesion one, the importance of a balanced diet. I know a lot of you teenagers like to hang out, fast food joints, like Cow & Chow, or Bueno Nacho. Ron: Oh no he didn�t. Barkin: Places like that are fine some times food, but not every single day. Ron: Liiiiiieeeesss! Barkin�s gone too far this time. Kim: Health class issues? Ron: Yes, in front of impressionable freshman, he says that Bueno Nacho�s bad to eat every day. I eat here all the time, and look at me, oh� picture of health. Kim: Ron, um, your diet could stand to be a bit more� balanced. Ron: Barkin got to you. Kim: No, uh, healthy food can be good. Look, salad. Wanna bite? Ron: Bueno Nacho has salads? Where�s the seasoned ground beef? The hand pumped cheese? Kim: Hello? It�s a salad. Lettuce, tomato, dressing. Ron: Hello? It�s a salad, Lettuce, tomato, disappointment. �Hablamos Salad�? It�s like they�re proud of it. Kim: Woop! Woop! Over reaction alert! Ron: Which side are you on Kim? Kim: Woop! Woop! Ron: You know, I�ll prove you and Barkin wrong, not only will I keep eating at Bueno Nacho, I�ll eat nothing but Bueno Nacho from now on. Ned: Hey Ron, try one of our new muy bueno ensalads? Ron: Not a chance Ned, I want a classic nacho combo, and this time grande size me. Ned: are you sure? That�s a lot of extra beans and cheese? Ron: Never been mote sure Ned, never been more sure. Hench: We need something for the third quarter roll out. Uh, how about project titan? Guy: It�s a work in progress. Hench: How�s progress? Guy: Not working. Hench: The computer virus? Guy: Was wiped out, by a computer virus. Hench: Hmm, how about this, the transducer? Build a better super weapon and the super villains beat a path to your door. Guy: It�s functional, but clunky. Hench: Push clunky as a new feature and put the word out, it goes to the highest bidder. Barkin: Alright freshman, and Stoppable, this is the wheel of good eating, each spoke is a different food group, meat and beans in moderation, grains, preferably whole grains, bread cereal, rice and pasta, yes Stoppable. Ron: Well, you know what has grains, cheese, vegetables, meat, and beans? Nature�s perfect food, the naco! Barkin: Nature wouldn�t have put in more fat than a stick of butter. Ron: Check it out KP, the Ron Stoppable diet. Got your daily allowanced of nacos, chimaceros, and casachangas. Kim: Is that a camera? Ron: Huh, cracking a major conspiracy, gotta keep a record. Kim: Don�t listen to Ron, eat more vegetables and fruit, and feel terrif! Ron: Cut! Ok cut! Kim, this is my video, not �the man�s� KP, Monique, you go ahead, I�ll catch up. Barkin: Do you see what I see? Ron: Uh, fresh wood shavings in all the cages? Barkin: No, those hamsters are eating their vegetables, crunchy nutritious vegetables. Ron: Oh yea they are, they got� wait a second, you�re trying to teach me on Smarty Mart time! Barkin: No I wasn�t, I was on break! Ron: I�m calling the manager. Ron: Kim! Did you know Bueno nacho has breakfast?! The Waveadia, I can practically live here! Kim: Ron, you do practically live here. We�re gunna be late for school. Ron: Oh yea, better make that to go. Ned: Grande Size? Ron: Ned, Ned, Ned, huh, do you even have to ask? Huh� must have shrunk. Rufus: Huh? Ron: Uh, I�ll have the number 12 combination please. Ned: The combinations only go up to 8, there is no number 12. Ron: Uh there is if you out together a 3, a 2, and a 7. Oh don�t tell me. Hey� Monique. Oh god, oh� cut� Barkin: Moving on from diet to exercise. Stoppable! What is your problem? Ron: Huh what? Barkin: Pay attention class, every year there is one joker who mocks the curriculum by downing nothing but junk food. Here is what an unbalanced diet looks like people, don�t avert your eyes! Look at it! Ron: Hey! Barkin: Are you short of breath, yes or no? Ron: NO! Barkin: How�s your reaction time? You�re sleeping more than usual aren�t ya? Don�t bother to answer. I have witnesses. Ron: There is noting wrong with my reaction time. Barkin: Ad your clothes, getting a bit snug huh? Ron: Yep, I you know I think Rufus has let himself go. Don�t you ever get tired of eating like a rabbit? Kim: Ask the one eating like a pig? Ron: Look, I now we all like our playful teasing, but I think you crossed the line Kim. Rufus: Yea! Kim: Right, totally unfair to pigs. What�s the sitch Wade? Wade: There�s something brewing at Henchco. Something big. Kim: Got something big here too. Ron: Another line crossed, man! Wade: Yea but your something big doesn�t involve every villain you can name. Kim: I can name a lot of villains. Drakken, Monkey Fist, Duff Killigan. Wade: They�re all there. Even Gemini. Ron: Gemini? I haven�t seen him in a while. Wade: looks like Hench is auctioning off some kind of new super weapon. Kim: We�re on it, come on Ron, mission. Ron: Coming, coming. Oh! Bonus taco. Can we hit the drive through real quick? Hench: Thank you, we�re here tonight to introduce new exciting advance in villain tech, the Henchco molecular transducer. Lady: Wow Jack, and I hear it features a new hip clunky design. Drakken: What, who�s applauding? Kim: Ron, are you eating again? Ron: I found a burrito stick in my� Kim: I don�t want to know, keep focused. I think I hear applause. Hench: Yes, clunky means it�s easy to use. Just point at your target, flip all the switches, and, now if I can have a volunteer? Uh, how about you sir? Now would you mind kicking this two foot thick, solid steel vault door? Killigan: Alright. Lady: Wow Jack, that really is amazing. That guy has some foot. Hench: Oh-oh-oh, it is not the foot, Tiffany, see, the transducer alters the molecular bonds, I just weakened the steel to the consistency of a tortia chip. And it also� Drakken: Oh give me a break, I don�t believe for one minute this thing, ohh!!! Hench: It also changes things back. Ron: Eh, when did air vents get so snug? Kim: Maybe when you started grande sizing every meal at Bueno Nacho? Ron: You know this is not the time for your proper eating-ganda KP. Computer: Warning, project Titan has been activated. Warning. Monkey Fist: Kim Possible. Kim: Well, the gangs all here. Hench: Life time discount to whoever nabs Kim Possible. Ron: This stuff tastes like� just like butter scotch! Computer: Warning, project Titan has been compromised. Hench: Come on guys, you can�t take down one cheerleader? Ok, like time discount, plus free coffee and bagels every uh, Monday. Killigan: I�ll halt the lassie. For! Ron: KP! Ok, who wants a piece of me? Drakken: Oh, something�s different about him. Killigan: Gha, what have you done to your self laddie? You look ghastly man. Monkey Fist: You really should take better care of your self. Kim: Wade, ride? Wade: On its way now. Kim: Ron, time to go. So, we need to get this thing to Global Justice before Hench�s goons come looking for it. Wade: I�ll set it up. Do you want me to find Ron a personal trainer while I�m at it? Kim: OH not yet. Oh he�ll come around� eventually, I hope. Uh, Ron, are you alright? Ron: Never better KP, why do you ask? Kim: Cause I think you got taller? Ron: Unexpected bonus of the Bueno Nacho miracle diet. Admit it, I was right, you and Barkin were wrong. Uh, did you get that? Rufus: Uh-hu. Check. Ron: ow! Ok, somebody lowered your door way, better get that fixed Mr. B. Barkin: Stoppable, what has happened to you? Ron: Your worst nightmare. Barkin: The one with Abe Lincoln and the bull sharks? Ron: Uh, no, no. no the one where I provide conclusive proof that your wheel of good eating is just a pitiful attempt to brain wash impressionable freshman. Barkin: Now you mark my words Stoppable, before this course ends you�ll be following this wheel like the latest plot line of Agony County. Ron: Oh yea. You gunna eat that? Monique: Eat it? I can�t even identify it. Kim: Ron, you do know that�s mystery meat right? Ron: Eh, it all eats the same. Monique: Well there goes my appetite. Kim: Well, at least cafeteria lunch offers balanced nutrition. If you don�t mind grey food. Bonnie: That�s quite the appetite your BF has there Kim. Maybe someone should explain to him that when jocks bulk up, it means muscle. Ron: You gunna eat that? Ow! Afternoon ladies. Mini cord dog? Kim: Uh, Ron, aren�t you supposed to heat those up or something? Ron: OH KP, you can�t live your life blindly following cooking directions. Besides, they�re crunchier frozen. Monique: Ron, no food in the store. Ron: Problem solved. Oh you know what would go great right now? A doughnut. Oh doughnuts! You want anything from the food court? Ow, what�s up with these doors? Hench: We�ve got Kim Possible under surveillance, she�ll lead us to the transducer eventually. But Drakken and the others will have the same idea. So I need the rest of you to watch out for them. Oh, that�s the down side wit dealing with criminals. They�re always looking to steal your stuff. Uh which reminds me, has anybody seen my stapler? Guy: I do have an update on project Titan, the mutation formula will only work if the subject has first been exposed to extreme amounts of saturated fat, cholesterol and preservatives. Hench: Wow, you�d have to eat nothing but Cow & Chow or Bueno Nacho. Guy: And even if you could find some one east�s that badly, instead of the ultimate super henchman, we would get this. Hench: OH! I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Ron: What?! Kid: You eat funny. Ron: I know that, you think I don�t know that? Kim: Ron, we have to talk. Ron: Talk to this Kid, what�s your name? Josh: Josh. Ron: Then mind your own bee�s wax Josh. Kim: Ron?! Ron: He�s getting all up in my grill about how I eat. Josh: Hey, I�m just saying. Wouldn�t hurt to chew your food. Ron: Chew my own food, you don�t do it anyway. Kim: Um, I think I�m with Josh on this one. Ron, you have to stop this. What you�re doing, it-it�s not healthy. For you, or for us. Rufus: Uh-hu. Ron: Kim, I�ve got something to prove here ok? Kim: I gotta go, rendezvous with Global Justice. Coming? Ron: Ok, I�ll catch up as soon as I�m finished. What? Don�t give me that look. That goes for you too Josh. Oh, hello beautiful,
Everyone: Ahhh! Hulk Ron:Ron Hungry! Ron hate salad! Ned: Ron, snap out of it, this isn�t like you. Ok, that�s like you. Jim: We need a ride to the mall. Kim: Can�t, gotta get this to Global Justice, ASAT. Tim: That�s what you always say. Kim: Hey! Jim: Wade, where�s Kim meeting up with Global Justice? Wade: Gas station, right near the mall. Kim: Oh, get in. Hulk Ron:Grr, Ron hungry! Kim: Now what? Tim: Do you know you�re being followed by Dr. Drakken. Drakken: Attention Kim Possible, you have something that doesn�t belong to you, ok technically it doesn�t belong to me either, but I�m a villain. I don�t particularly care! Now, hand it over. Kim: Evasive action, hang on. Tim: Why, you�ve got a molecular transducer, don�t you? Kim: Well, yea but� Drakken: Oh snap! Ahhh! Gha! Kim: How did you know? Jim: it�s just like ours, but not as good. Ours makes smoothies. Hulk Ron:Ah, doughnut, Ron want! Oh, ow, doughnut hurt Ron, Ron smash! Whoa! Oh no! Doughnut run away! Come back doughnut. Doughnut calm down. Kim: Is that Ron? Rufus: Help! Tim: I�m thinking yes. Kim: Wade, we have a major Ron problem here. Wade: You mean the fact that he has been turned into a 15 foot tall rampaging behemoth? Kim: Ok, how do we reverse it? Wade: It would take a series of complex proteins, niesen, beta-keratin, vitamin D, here. Tim: Hey! That�s the wheel of good eating. Jim: We learned about it health class. Kim: What do we have to do Wade? Wade: Make him eat fruits and vegetables. Kim: Right, that would be easy. Tim: We can do it! Jim: It is every freshman�s dream. Tim: Force feeding vegetables to a senior. Jim: A mutant senior. Kim: Just don�t hurt him ok? Hulk Ron:Burger! Kim: What�s first? Jim: Grain group, bran muffins and whole wheat pasta. Andante! Now! Hulk Ron:Gha whole wheat?! Jim: Uh-oh. Tim: Hey Ron! Jim: That takes care of the vegetable group. Tim: Why are we stopping? Kim: So not in the mood for this. This would be easier if we didn�t have to worry about� hey, where�s Ron? Ron, we do have time for this. I have an appointment with Global Justice. Hulk Ron:Ron hate monkeys! Ron smash! Monkey Fist: Monkey ninjas attack! Impressive. But brute strength is no match for Ti-Shing-Pec-Whar. Uh-oh. Hulk Ron:Monkey Man bad! Kim: What�s next on the wheel? Tim: Meat, fish, poultry, and eggs. For! Hulk Ron:Gha! Ron hates clown! Oh clown throw chicken! Ron smash! Kim: Where�s Tim? Jim: 14th hole, last part of our plan. Kim: There�s a plan? Hulk Ron:Oh doughnut! Rufus: Doughnut! Kim: Um, where did he get a crossbow? Jim: Eleventh hole. The night in front of the castle. Tim: The fruit group. Hulk Ron:Fruit! Give Ron doughnut! Kim: Give me the grapes! Ron, are you alright? Ron: Uh, oh, Ron loose pants� Agent: Miss Possible, I�m here for the transducer. Kim: Got it back in the car. So, did we learn anything? Ron: By we you mean� Kim: You. Did you learn anything? Ron: Well, some of the stuff on that wheel is kinda tasty. Kim: Ron. Ron: Eating a balanced diet will keep you from turning into a mutated maniac? Kim: Yea, something like that. Ron: Hey kids, Ron Stoppable here with my buddy Rufus. Rufus: Hi. Ron: You know we had some fun today, but now I would like to get serious about an important subject. Monique: Who is he talking to? Kim: I don�t know. Ron: Short term genetic mutation. Sure, it�s funny when it happens to somebody else, but it isn�t always reversible, so take it from me. Barkin: Who is he talking to? Ron: Stay out of large vats of mysterious chemicals, keep your DNA intact, and stay un-mutated. You�ll be glad you did. What? Barkin: Stoppable! Office now!
